New Beginnings XX
New Beginnings XX
May 1992 and June 1992
This is a grown up chapter!
Standing in front of the burned out façade of what was once the clinic, Lexi pulled her hair back off of her face and stared. It was Monday and the sixth and final day of what would be known at the Los Angeles Riots. The landscape was dotted with burned out hulks of cars and buildings, and people were beginning to try and salvage what they could from their businesses. “I can’t believe it is all gone Miko. We all worked so hard.” Lexi kicked at an ash covered brick lying on the sidewalk. “We should go Lexi, there’s nothing here for you any longer.” Miko waited for her to join him at the truck but she hesitated. “What about my car?” He shook his head, “It’s gone too, and I will have a tow truck pick it up. We’ll get you another one, come on let’s go. You don’t need to be out here. Mike will have my neck if something happens to you.” Taking one final look, Lexi got in the truck and left with Miko, leaving behind her hopes and dreams for her old neighborhood.
Michael was in choreography, he had one week before the dance and musical aspects finally came together on the actual stage. He had gone over the schedule for the day and it was packed. Dance in the morning, in with the band during the afternoon, and meetings with Kenny before he went back in with the band again after nine. It was all starting to ramp up to opening night; it was everything he had been excited about, worried about and also dreading. It was going to keep him from home, and from Lexi. Taking a chance during their break he called the Santa Monica house.
“Hello”
“Hi, what are you doing?”
“I just got here; Miko took me to rent a car. The Lexus is gone.”
“Oh…it is?”
“Yeah, the clinic too. Gone Michael. There’s nothing.”
“I’m sorry; I wish I knew what to tell you.”
“There’s nothing to say. It’s done.”
“We can get you a car this week, OK?”
“Yeah…OK, thank you. Will I see you today?”
There was a long silence before Michael spoke
“It will be very late, probably after One, but you better be asleep Lexi. You need your rest. I was up last night and you didn’t sleep much.”
“I know, I was waiting for the baby. He likes to kick then.”
“I know, he keeps me up a lot at night. I love it. He was kind of quite last night though, so you should have slept better.”
“Maybe it was just me that was restless. I just couldn’t get comfortable at all.
Lexi could hear a crowd starting to gather around where Michael was standing…
I should let you go, Bill’s there with you right?
“Yeah…yeah. Just call him if you need me, and I will try to check in with you if I have a second. OK Babe?”
“Mmm hmm, I think I am going to take a nap. I am tired and my back hurts from standing out there on the pavement this morning.”
“K, get some rest. I love you.”
“I love you too”
“Michael we’re ready for you”, Michael set the receiver down as they called his name to go back to dance rehearsal. He couldn’t help but glance back at the phone as the choreographer started the count up…”Ok where were we, 5-6-7-8 and 1….”
She kicked off the comforter for what seemed like the 10th time since she had lain down to take a nap. Now she was getting really frustrated, being pregnant was inconvenient that was a fact! Just as she was really sleeping she had to go to the bathroom again. As she washed her hands and started to wake up a feeling of dread came over her. Rushing to the closet, she frantically pulled out shoes and blankets and various stored items until she found her old paramedic bag. Her hands shook as she sat on the bed fumbling with her stethoscope and held it to her belly. “Please God please” she prayed. Moving it around she couldn’t find what she searched for, no matter what she tried.
“No I want to hear the bass like bam..bam right there. You know more guts. Yeah..yeah…Yeah that’s it. Ok let’s take it from the top.” Michael turned to cue the drums when Bill interrupted. “Michael I need you for a minute.” Holding his finger up Michael raised his eyebrows, “Bill, we need to run through this real quick.” Bill cleared his throat and held up the phone, “Michael, I need you for a minute.” Looking at the band Michael apologized for the delay, “Just a second fellas.” Bill cupped his hand around Michael’s ear and whispered quietly. Everyone in the room saw the color drain from his face as he headed for the door.
Lexi had called Bill before she left the house and they all arrived together. Michael was frantic, “Lexi, what’s wrong. What is happening?” Lexi looked at Bill and back at Michael, “For heaven’s sake Bill get him inside so no one see’s him.” “Just go in Lex; please go do what you need to do.” Michael’s panicked voice called to her as Bill shoved him back in the car. Lexi walked into the emergency room alone…
Bill snuck Michael in and they rushed back to the same triage room as the first night of the riots, “I’ll be in the lobby Michael” Bill said as he left him at the door. What Michael found was quiet chaos. Two nurses stood over Lexi with stethoscopes while a third tech moved an ultrasound machine into place next to her. Lexi’s eyes were wide and met his with a pleading look. They missed the concerned glance between the two nurses as they placed the scope in different spots on her abdomen. The on call OB/GYN burst in the room right behind Michael and took over. Picking up her chart he sat down on the stool and rolled up to the foot of the bed, just as Michael melted back into the corner of the room out of site. “Miss Garcia I need to exam you for a moment before we conduct the ultrasound. Can you scoot down please?” Michael covered his face with his hand, trying to understand what was happening.
It was all over in a few moments, “Alright you can slide up. Jerry here is going to take a look and let’s see what we find.” The Doctor stood up and walked off finally noticing Michael in the corner. He did his best not to do a double take but it couldn’t be helped. Lexi looked toward Michael and reached out her hand. Glad that he was able to reach her as the tech sat down to perform the scan he said, “Lexi, I’m scared. Tell me what happened. What is going on?” They both watched the monitor of the machine as the wand passed over her belly. Michael felt Lexi begin to squeeze his hand and tears started to fall silently from her eyes. “Lexi…Babe, what is it? Would somebody tell me what the hell is going on with my baby!” Michael’s voice was plaintive… and the staff silently stood by not knowing what to say. Finally the Doctor stepped forward and placed his hand on Michael’s arm, “Mr. Jackson perhaps you would like to step outside…” Lexi began to sob in earnest, “Nooo, no…please god no.” Michael turned back to her and buried his face in her shoulder, “Lexi I swear, I don’t know what is going on…but I will do anything, PAY ANYTHING… to make sure our baby is alright.” Again he felt the Doctor’s hand on his arm, “What! Damn it. MAKE IT BETTER. Fix whatever it is that’s wrong!” Michael moved toward the Doctor and gripped his arm tightly in his hand, “Mr. Jackson” the Doctor paused and looked at the frozen image on the ultrasound monitor, “The fetus, hmmm, the baby’s heart is no longer beating. I’m sorry but there is nothing I can do.”
Michael felt like someone had grabbed him around the throat, “Wha..stopped? But, but..” Michael loosened his grip on the Doctor’s arm and stumbled back towards Lexi. “I felt…I know the baby moved. Last night..just last night.” Lexi was curled up in a ball trying to breathe between sobs. “Lexi, oh my God, Lex.” Michael reached for her but her hands flew out wildly pushing him away; her cries of anguish filling the room, “Not my baby, please…please not my baby.” The Doctor spoke aloud to no one in particular, “We’ll move you upstairs to delivery, and the nurse will be back to check on you soon.”
Michael blindly pushed a chair close to the bed and sank down. The only sounds in the room were the sobs from Lexi. He was numb, this couldn’t be happening. He still felt the tiny kicks under his hand; he could still look over and see the curve of Lexi’s stomach. Not able to take it anymore he moved to the bed and lowered the rail as he had done only nights before and climbed in beside her. “I love you so much Alexis, I’ll never stop loving you.” Lexi finally looked at him with her swollen and tear streaked face. “I want our baby Michael…please make this all go away.” The wall finally fell and Michael crashed into his grief. “I want our baby too…that’s all I ever wanted, I just want our family.” He had never held her tighter than he did in those moments, their hearts literally melted together in their sorrow and pain.
Bill had watched the Doctor and nurses come and go, and as he placed his hand on the door to knock he heard Michael’s cry. He had known him since he was a boy, had been with him through his joyous highs and lowest lows. Bill only remembered one other time when he heard that kind of sorrow come out of Michael, and he had hoped to never witness it again, and he couldn’t believe it had happened again. Bill walked over to the pay phone and dialed Kenny, he informed him that Michael would be away for awhile…and he would be in touch.
Sixteen hours later he lay in her arms. He was wrapped in a tiny blue blanket, with lots of curly black hair and caramel colored skin. His fingers were long like his Daddy and he had his Mother’s nose. Lexi thought the most perfect thing about him were his lips, a combination of her and Michael’s. Her baby was perfect to her, and they were coming soon to take him away. Michael watched from where he stood by the window and he could see the dawn starting to rise over the landscape. “I want to hold him Lexi, just for a moment.” She watched as he held him in his hands. He was so tiny; he neatly fit in his palm. But Michael held him like he was a jewel to be treasured. “You see that Brandon? That’s the sun. I just wanted to make sure you saw it. The sunrise is so beautiful.” Michael looked out the window and swayed slowly back and forth. Lexi felt more tears come to her eyes as she watched them together, it was so unfair…so cruel. Michael’s voice was soft, so soft she almost didn’t hear him as he started to sing to his son…
Like a comet
Blazing ‘cross the evening sky
Gone too soon
Like a rainbow
Fading in the twinkling of an eye
Gone too soon
Gone too………. soon
When he finished; the sun was up, and she noticed he wiped his eyes as his voice cracked on the last note and walked back to the bed. “I think it’s time now.” His voice broke again as he handed her Brandon and gave them both a gentle kiss. Lexi just stared silently, her eyes huge and glass like with indecision. Michael reached down and pushed the call button, and summoned the nurse.
Brandon Rey Garcia-Jackson did blaze brightly for Michael and Alexis if only for a brief moment.
“They don’t know what happened. For some reason she lost the water around the baby…there’s nothing they can do when that happens. At least not until later on, you know closer to the due date.” Michael sat with Miko and tried to figure it out. Miko put his hand over Michael’s and said, “Could it have been the fire Mike? I mean…she said she fell?” Shaking his head Michael replied, “I don’t know, I really don’t, Miko what else do I have to take? He was so beautiful, very little but…” A long silence fell between them before Michael finally spoke again. “Maybe I’m not supposed to be a Dad?” Miko glanced up as Michael said it and scoffed, “That’s ridiculous, you guys will be OK…And when the time is right you will have your chance. I just know it.” Michael shrugged and looked away with tears in his eyes, “I just want to make sure she is good. She is my biggest concern right now. I can see it in her eyes, this is killing her.” Miko said softly, “It’s killing you too Mike.”
The room was dark the same way it had been for three days, when he opened the door. Michael walked around the bed and sat down. “Hey, Miko is going to pick up your Mom at the airport. Why don’t you get up and take a shower for when she gets here.” She didn’t speak; she didn’t even look at him. “Lexi, please talk to me.” Michael put his hand on her leg as he gently coaxed her to open up to him. Sighing deeply he stood up and walked to the bathroom and picked up her hairbrush off the counter and returned to the bed. “Here let me brush your hair, can you sit up for me.” Rolling over quickly, she buried her head under the pillows but let out a cry of pain. “What is it, are you alright?” He pulled back the comforter and forced her to turn over and sit up. “Oh…oh god..Did this just start?” Bringing her hands to her chest she felt dampness. “Lexi, you can’t help it. You know that, your body is just making milk for the bab…” Michael caught himself before he finished but he could feel the knot in his throat as he tried to keep from crying. He couldn’t imagine how she must be feeling, not being able to have Brandon in her arms.
Lexi started to crawl to the end of the bed to get away from Michael but he caught her in his arms. “Please girl, don’t shut me out. I know how much you are hurting….don’t slip away from me. Not now, I need you too, so much.” She struggled against him but he held her tight and eventually she settled into his lap and buried her face in his chest…”I want my baby Michael, I feel like I can’t even breathe. I took him away from you….I’m so sorry.” He softly kissed the top of her head as he rocked her gently, “Shhh, Lex…one day, one day. We will see him, he’s our angel now.” He held her till she fell asleep and then he lay beside her, the ringing of the phone filtered through somewhere in the house but none of it seemed to matter anymore except that moment and taking care of her.
The service was simple and held late in the day. Michael and Lexi laid Brandon down beside his Great-Grandmother Martha at Forest Lawn. Sally, Katherine, Jackie, Bill and Miko sat with them as the tiny white box was lowered down. Katherine held on tightly to Lexi’s hand as they stood to leave, remembering her own sorrow of years gone by. Jackie was his brother’s rock, especially as they walked away and he supported Michael in his grief. As they started to climb in the limousine, the door to Katherine’s car opened and Michael looked up to see Joseph slide out and stand silently by. He had been there and in the only way he knew…he offered his support.
Michael went back to rehearsals, it was double the work but he welcomed the distraction of it all. Lexi was lost; with no work or school she took long walks along the beach and eventually began to run again after the Doctor cleared her. Michael noticed how quite she was and he tried to get her to open up, but she only seemed to become more introverted. Miko convinced her to come to a rehearsal and she sat at the back of the auditorium and finally asked to leave before Michael was finished. Her Mother eventually went back to Germany to take care of Junior but begged Michael to help her Daughter. It seemed nothing was helping and Michael was running out of options.
Michael finally made it home after one in the morning. They had a full dress rehearsal and at first light, the entire show was being packed up and sent to Germany. Opening the refrigerator to get a bottle of water he noticed the tiny magnetic calendar that clung to the front of the door. Pulling it off he saw that it had already been six weeks since their world had been ripped apart. Pressing it back on the door he closed his eyes as he thought it felt like just yesterday…it still felt so fresh. He didn’t figure it would ever get better, and honestly if it wasn’t for Lexi he would have lost himself in a good stiff drink.
Hoping she might still be awake, he opened the door to the bedroom but found it dark as usual, since she was sleeping already. He quietly stripped his clothes off and slid into bed behind her. He smelled her fragrant hair and ran his hands along her body that was nearly perfect again. It seemed like ages since he had made love to her and his body ached to be with her. Smoothing her hair away from her face he kissed her gently as his hand settled on her breast and he whispered softly, “I miss you so much Lex…come back to me.” Eventually his breathing became slow and even and he fell asleep, exhausted from his long day…and Lexi opened her eyes, she had been wide awake.
To be continued
Dont forget to Rate This Chapter:
[polldaddy rating=”2192511″]
Comments
Why u gotta do this to me? Seriously?!
Youve got me in tears here! I cant stand this…almost..
Youve done a really great job with this story and its just heartbreaking and gutwrenching….
But its beautiful…
OMG, I didn’t see that coming. I’m heartbroken for them both. Please let them stay together and try again. Michael deserves to be happy, so does Lex. So much tragedy! PLLLLEEEEEEEEAAAASSSSSSSSEEE!!!!
SMH.. this is so sad. They lost the baby.. and it looks like Michael is gonna lose Lexi too. Terrible.
oh c’mon can’t we have a happy ending for a change?
you’ve punished them enough..
🙂
Why?? UGHH WHY DAMMIT!!! fuck =/
I knew some shit like this would happen. I think it had to do what happened during the fire at the clinic where she was working at. Damn though =/.
Got me here all sad and depressed now, Michael had to bury his baby boy who they only held for a few hours.
Lexi is hurting bad and i can see she had distanced herself from him and i hope he doesn’t loose her.
Can we get a happy lil ending for once? damn! need some closure lol.
Keep it up though love! can’t wait to see what goes on next for them. I hope they can try again and it would be right again to make them feel happy to start there family.
<3
Why why why did you have to do that. Can’t he be happy for once…. Had me in tears. But I knew you were gonna go there. Great chapter Dangerous…. I really got caught up. Can’t wait to read the next one.
nonono, Michael lost Hunter, he lost his baby, he can not lose Lexi!! Please, don’t let anything happen to them :'(
Dang is all I can say. This story made me sad but it was a good read. I feel bad for the both of them. I am preggers now and you had me checking the net for what happen to baby Brandon. Hopefully, they can find happiness again.
Wait…wait…what I think is happening IS NOT HAPPENING RIGHT NOW… RIGHT?!!? I am praying too Lexi YOU BETTER FIND THAT PULSE!! Shit, with the way my pulse is ticking right now I could lend half of my own heart beat to the baby and I’d still be just fine. (That definitely did not make a lot of sense…but remember, I’m in a STATE OF SHOCK (lol couldn’t help it) over here and my ability to make coherent sentences have been robbed!
Lexi called Bill? Damn…this is not a good sign. Not a good sign at all. My palms are literally sweating right now. And then this came —> “Finally the Doctor stepped forward and placed his hand on Michael’s arm, “Mr. Jackson perhaps you would like to step outside…”
The blood just drained from my body…I feel ill. (That in no way is a shot at your writing because despite the Shakespearean tragedy that is before my eyes, your writing is exquisite & absolutely beautiful) I’m gutted for Lexi & for Michael who is not even sure what is about to come, but it pains me to see that he is already expecting the worse & that’s exactly what he is going to get. 🙁
“MAKE IT BETTER”—> Okay, reading Michael saying that has lead to officially cross over from crying to flat out weeping. I’m looking down at my keyboard & it appears as though I spilled my water. Nope, those are tears. Oh god & to hear Michael recount the previous night of feeling the baby kick as he was nestled against Lexi is doing nothing to prevent the puddle of salt water that has collected on my now damp keyboard.
“Bill only remembered one other time when he heard that kind of sorrow come out of Michael, and he had hoped to never witness it again, and he couldn’t believe it had happened again.” —> I second, triple, quadruple Bill’s thoughts. There have been so many wonderful blessings that have come Michael’s way & put him in the right direction continuing on his road to recovery since Hunter passed, but this is a tremendous step back…hell, it resembles more of an Olympic worthy LEAP backward.
BRANDON?!!? Oh my lord! The waterworks are here to stay! Thinking about the true significance behind your thought process in choosing this name & then remembering Marlon’s speech at the memorial (which, on another note, is also too close to home) has got me utterly beside myself.
The scene with Lexi lactating is incredibly heartbreaking, I could not even imagine nor will I let my brain take me there to what that would feel like. “Please girl, don’t shut me out. I know how much you are hurting….don’t slip away from me. Not now, I need you too, so much.” —-> Yes, please please please do NOT shut each other out. I NEED them to stay together.
Just the images I have seen of Michael in pictures at other children’s funerals are enough to bring anyone to tears, but to imagine him burying his own child…no, I just can’t even go there.
Honestly, I don’t even know how to appropriately convey the way I feel in a manner that would give your writing the justice it so deserves and reflect just how insanely talented you are! Only the best writers can evoke such strong emotions in their audience & have people choking through their sobs but still being able to only rain the utmost praise on their writing! Girl, this was an absolutely sensational piece of written art right here. Incredibly emotional, yes, but phenomenally well done! I know I may sound overboard here, but I don’t care because I mean every last bit of it! Did I cry the whole way through it? Yes. In fact, I had to take a break & kiss my own three gorgeous kids before I finished. But all the same, I absolutely loved every last second of it. It was flawless.
Hey guys…
I know this was a rough one, it was really tough to write. I know it sounds odd but I so care about these characters and obviously Michael is so so much more…
After the first story I did, my writing about Mike became more about the why’s and wherefores, and all those little blanks we all wonder about in his life.
Although none of us will probably ever find out what happened with him and why it all ended the way it did…I am trying to maybe fill in the gaps in a fictional way. At least to get myself some kind of closure, and perhaps some of you as well.
I can tell you this, Lexi will always be in Michael’s life. They will have extremely joyous moments. But like real life they will live through the worst of times too.
I hope you guys hang in there…I have more to tell. As long as you want to listen.
I am glad to hear that Lexi will always be in Michael’s life!
And of course we will listen to everything you have to tell us! You write so very well, that I always forget that this is not real. But it seems so real to me… You really capture the true Michael in this story!
I’ll be right here with ya Dangerous!!! Yep, right here!!!
hey I’m dying waitin for an update! please update soon!!!!
Will probably start it today…
Just felt like this week needed to be respected
I am new to yor website and all I can say is WOW! You have got talent girl! I have been staring at my computer screen for 2 days straight reading all your stories! It’s actually been kind of pathetic, I even called in sick today because I looked at the clock to find it was 6am in the morning and i hadn’t been to bed yet. And i dind’t even go to sleep for another few hours. Who’s got time for sleep when there’s drama and sexy angry Mike to read about? Aparantly NOT ME!
I took the news of the king’s death rather hard, and even a year later it still doesn’t seem real. He was such a beautiful man inside and out who as unfortunately miunderstood and definately midtreated. Your writing is so real it I have a hard time remembering it’s fiction and let myself get all wrapped up in it.
I must admit when I first stared reading about Hunter, I imagined I was her. It’s easy to do and even hard not to when the stories are so detailed and make you feel connected to the charaxters. I know, I know, I’m sounding even more pathetic! Neeedless to say a was a little pissed when I found out I, er um, I mean she died!
So…I’ve read the last entry you wrote….now what am I going to do with myself LOL
So I am soooo sad to hear the Michael and Lexi lost the baby. I had a feeling that was going to happen. I want my man to be happy, but I would mind a new pyt to come into the picture…..
I hope to see new entries soon!
@Babs…
Hello and welcome to DangerousPYT.
Well, by the looks of things you are going to fit right in here. LOL
So awesome that you found us! And yes my goodness we miss Michael dont we…last week was kind of a break in the action so that we could all reflect on him and the gift he gave to us all. I personally miss him so much still, and am so happy to be able to share this little space with such nice and caring people.
We are hoping to get a new story up by this weekend. Since it is a long holiday here in the USA it would be a great time to enjoy something fresh.
Glad you are here and make sure you comment and if you need anything email us at dangerouspyt@gmail.com. Plus you can sign up on Facebook and Twitter too. The links are on the bottom of the page.
You have managed to take my heart out my chest and rip it into tiny pieces..Thank you..I am still in so much pain and i would love to read the other chapter but i don’t know if i have strength in my body after that lost i just face…tears! tears!…I am not even joking about the tears, i can hardly see to type.
P.S i still love you DangerousPYT, , so keep writing and i will try to be strong and continue reading…LOL
Best chapter by far, it hurt so much.. .. so so so much, I didn’t know if I was ready for it but i had to be. I’m crying and i think that I might have to throw up, but I loved it beautifully written. God, my heart is bleeding right now. . .
DangerousPYT,
This is by far the saddest installment yet… The moment I realized what was going on, I started crying and I looked up at the ceiling and said “God, don’t you ever do that me. If you did that to me, I wouldn’t live.” I say that in all seriousness… And much like everyone else, my keyboard is indeed covered in salty tear stains… why, Dangerous, why? …I was not at all prepared. I just want things to finally work out for Michael and Lexi, Michael especially since I am not numb to the fact that Michael spent the majority of his life in pain… All he ever wanted was love, justice, and equality among numerous other things, and all he ever got in return was lies, scandals,and worse of all, to be accused of the one thing he’d NEVER even entertain the idea of: child molestation. I’m sorry, I know I’m ranting now… I just… I feel so entirely broken, like everything I ever dreamed of is no longer possible… If Lexi wasn’t keeping Michael sober, I’d be joining him in that good, stiff drink… I’m probably going to cry myself to sleep now and try to figure out how I can forgive you… Ugh, it just hurts so much.
Trackbacks
Leave a Comment