How do you start over?
Greetings everyone,
I dont know how many, if any will ever see this post…but I feel like I can finally put something down again. First of all I would like to apologize for not being able to update in so very, very long. Unfortunatly the last 6-8 months (at least) have been about the worst in my life that I have ever had to try to struggle through. While I guess that should not be much of an excuse, life has left little time for writing.
Some of you know that I am taking care of an aging parent who is only getting slowly more ill by the day. Watching and dealing with that person you love slip quietly away with something as insideous as alzheimers is truely heartbreaking. A small consolation is that she truly loves Michael as much as any of us., and she is very happy. <3
Here is a link with some help if any of you are faced with similar circumstances.
http://www.alzfdn.org/?gclid=CLzQz5_HwbUCFQrpnAodQy4ASg
Our family also suffered through the passing of our beloved Grandmother in the fall (I literally got the call as I was completing the Mike and Lexi story I promised you…I was typing it when the phone rang with my Father on the other end. I havent had the courage to even open it up again)
Yet even more devestating…My sister in law chose to end her life early this year. She had struggled, very recently with crippling depression and crushing anxiety. Trying to deal with her mental illness became her full time job and she honestly tried everything. Counseling, church, friends, family, but alas it became to much for her and at the end of January she found a violent and tragic way to end her pain.
I am pleading with any of you who may feel the same; to please, please reach out to someone who you hold dear. You are loved, and know that they are sure you love them. They will fight for you and stand by no matter what.
Watching the pain, sorrow and helplessness my Brother and her Mom and Dad have endured the last several weeks has nearly broken my own soul. I am a fixer and this is the hardest thing I ever had to do in all my years, because all I can do is be there.
L.O.V.E. is really the answer
NAMI
Please bear with me as I try to get back on track. I so want to give you the story you deserve.
Thank you
Dangerous
Comments
Dear DangerouPYT
Thank you for sharing with us your problems, your words …
they are a comfort to me that beyond the ocean I’m starting to live a similar situation …
A big hug.
You will be in my prayers.
Patrizia
Thank you Patma
And I hope that you get the help you need with your situation.
Please email if you ever need to talk, and my prayers for you too
Dangerous
And you think we’ve all disappeared? Don’t be so quick to assume, my dear. I wish you and your family peace and hope to read more of your work in the near future. I know you have it in you.
Love you, you have always had my back girl!
I hope all goes well for your family and yourself, you deserve the bests of joys for bringing us closer to michael through your stories. Ive never left this ‘home’ entirely. You will revive from this, sail on.
Its all for LOVE
Oh my god, I hadn’t no clue! I’m so sorry for what you have been through, and I hope you and your family will find the energy to stay strong and positive! And as one of your first readers I will never stop to check new updates here! And if there aren’t any updates, I re-read, you know that, I told so before. See? This place you’ve created is always full of love for me. That’s your gift.
So take care and all the best! I’ll be waiting here for you! Love
My heart goes out to you and your family. I want to thank you for sharing your problems with us as Patrizia said. Please know that you are in our thoughts and I will be sending positive thoughts to you.
Bisous
You guys are the best. Knowing I have your support means so much and gives me the encouragement to hang in there with this site and story.
Thank you so very much
Dear Dangerous, sending you lots of love in this trying time. You are a wonderful support to your family and they come first. xxx
Damn. . . . . I don’t know to say, except. ……I’m Sorry. That’s really deep. MY prayer’s are with you and your family, girl. <3 :* hugs and kisses.
Thanks Shay, we are just taking it one day at a time. < 3
Liz, you were kind to post. Thank you so much
Hope things get better for you. Love your stories.
It’s so good to see you back “home”, the home you have made for yourself and for all of your guests/friends. The pain and loss you’ve been experiencing are heartbreaking…please know that you are in out thoughts. You’ll always find a smile and a hug waiting for you here and soon this place will be filled again with creativity and laughter (and the occasional sigh).
Lots of love.
PS: Sorry for the double post. IDK why it wouldn’t let me post the first time, so I wrote it over again…
Hi Dangerous, how are you going? Just a little note to say I’m thinking of you and sending love!
My condolences to you and your family at this time. I wish continued strength to you and yours as you care for mother. It’s a blessed task.
Thank you Nightgarden, Liz and Ty-Ann for your support. I am continually amazed by the kindness and generosity of my fellow MJ fans. You all are truely the best!
I’m very sorry for everything you and your family has suffered. It must be terribly difficult to be in the supporting role you have found yourself in. Your family is blessed to have you to lean on. I’m sure there is a cloud with your name on it. As you can see, we are still here for you.
Hi DPYT!!! I’m so sorry for your losses & challenges. While I can’t say I’ve had a relative with Alzheimer’s, I have had to take care of two very ill aunts. Both of whom had cancer that ate away at them until there was no life left…so I feel your turmoil. I am here if ever u need a friend to relate.
take all the time you need to face the obstacles of everyday life. i hope you do comeback with a even more powerful story with michael and lexie full of triuhmp and hope. I cannot wait for it.
Dear Dangerous,
I too have had similar experiences. And I like you am the fixer so I understand the emotions that you must have had and are having about your loses of those you so cherish. When my family was going through everything I had a very dear friend that shared the following quote with me that has helped me and I would like to share in hopes that it is some comfort for you.
“Find a place inside where there’s joy and the joy will burn out the pain” -Joseph Campbell
My thoughts and prayers go out to you and yours in this difficult time.
I’ve been reading for a long time, but I’m just now commenting….
Take all the time you need. We’ll be here. It gives us time to refresh ourselves with the story. Love your writing!
Your family is my prayers. Peace.
Hey just checking in to say im still praying for you girl. hope everything works out. <3
Wow. I really missed you and your amazing stories. Thank you for giving us, your (dedicated) readers, a bit of insight into what’s holding you back.
I know you and your family will be able to get through this. I hope you continue to write!
Best of luck,
Paris
God bless you girl…
I’m really sorry for your lost and I understand completely what you endured this past months… I lost my brother too, but in other circonstances.
Be strong and don’t worry about the story, we are here, always…
We haven’t spoken in a long time, and the last time we did, we parted on bad terms.
But I am human, I understand your struggle coping with your mum, and my offer of help still stands.
I’m sorry about your sister-in-law. My clinical depression has progressed to borderline bipolar, I know about the desperation, the darkness and the depths the lows can take a person to. I can relate to standing toe to toe with the devil screaming at him to end my life because I didn’t have the balls to do it.
There’s nothing I can say that will make the future any easier for you, but maybe you can take comfort from the knowledge that your sister-in-law is finally at peace and free from the torment and anguish that depression brings. Your struggle to comfort your family will not be easy, but with inner strength and help from friends and loved ones, you WILL pull through and you WILL pull them through with you. Give yourself all the time you need to grieve, then turn your back on the pain do whatever it takes to smile again.
It’ll be one of the hardest times of your life, but you’re strong enough to do this.
I send you best wishes and prayers.
Your words are very heartfelt and very poignant. You’ve gone through more than any one person should have to endure in such a short space of time. I wish both you and your family healing as well as profound peace. Take care and know all our thoughts continue to be with you.
BTW, forgot to add that this is just a check in to say I still read your stories from time to time and check here periodically to see if you will grace us with your words sometime in the near future….
Hi everyone. I almost have a story finished. I am aiming by the end of this week or end of July. I am not thinking it will be a Gone With The Wind but it will be a start anyway. Thank you for the kind words, it has really meant a lot to me.
Tiger, Thank you especially. I know the courage and heart it takes to talk about things. I hope and pray that you are coping and please know that although life gets difficult, you have so many people who really care about you and love you unconditionally. The world is a better place with you in it, always remember that. (((Tiger)))
Keep your eyes here, I promise its coming soon. It’s Easter at Neverland y’all.
Wow I am so excited to hear this – just had my birthday on Monday and lost my beloved Aunty on Friday – so looking forward to this new story. I love Lexi and Michael so much. Sending love and hugs to all my MJfam xxx. Ps just finished 7days by BreakofDawn so this is coming at just the right time Thank you Dangerous for bringing your talent back xxx
PYT
They say God never hands out more than we can handle. I’ve questioned this many a time throughout my life, and somehow I still seem to be strong enough to keep my claws dug into life in some shape or form. I’m exceptionally lucky with the support I have here at home & from my doctor. My heart however is breaking for your family; I feel so sad that your sister-in-law felt she had to do what she did, when I’m a thousand percent sure she was an amazing person with so much to give. I trust the Angels will be looking after her and helping her in their own special way.
You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for girl, stay strong and you’ll bring everyone around you through this. Your brother will be needing you, and I know you have your plate full already but I also know you have what it takes. Take strength from Michael, keep him in your heart and remember how he faced everything with a smile. He’ll hold your hand when you’re feeling alone.
I’m here if you need me x
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