Victim Of Love: V

Victim of Love: V

March 2002

All the hard work, the struggle, and the time away from his children…losing Lexi, it was for nothing. The album was dead. Killed and left behind with no promotion.

Michael had retreated behind the gates of Neverland, and tried to decide what to do next. He was lost, struggling to grasp the concept of the failure of the record. Something that never should have happened, the music was solid and radio seemed ready to play it, but the label pushed him and it aside. It hurt him deeply after decades of loyalty he had given them and he felt a simmering anger to be simply cast away like yesterdays news.

The new baby helped make everything better at The Ranch though. Michael kept his arms full of his newborn son most of the time and couldn’t help but feel his love everywhere he turned. The type of love that seem to surround him, comfort him, and seep through to his very soul, so much so that Michael fell in to calling him “Blanket”….and strangely enough it was the perfect name, for a perfect baby.

He seemed like an old soul, his eyes so much like Michael’s, taking in so much as he looked at the world around him. He rarely cried and when he did it was only for a moment…until he was safely back with his Father again or fed or asleep.

Asleep, that was Michael’s favorite time, lying on the couch or the bed with Blanket snuggled up on his chest. He stared at him for hours sometime, wondering how he could be so miraculous, so much a part of himself and his Mother too.

Eventually they left Neverland so Alannah could visit. She held the baby briefly and then jumped down to play with Prince and Paris, not yet understanding the significance of the child in her life. Michael tried his best not to let his carefully constructed guard down, tried his hardest not to wonder what it would be like to have Lexi by his side…but he couldn’t ignore the gift he held in his arms. The Blanket of love that seemed to be holding his world together…..

______________________________________________________________

Lexi hung her pool cue on the rack and made her way back to the table to visit with Annabelle and Bernadette.

Holding up a shot glass Bernie toasted Lexi,

“To the birthday girl…may you have many more big sister. I love you”

The girls clanked glasses and slammed the shots back, laughing as Annabelle choked on her Tequila.

“Stop laughing, you guys know I don’t drink that stuff. I am a wine kind of girl.”

“Hey it’s my birthday…live it up.”

They were interrupted by the waitress bringing them another round,

“Ladies, that gentleman over there bought you these; he especially wants the birthday girl to enjoy herself tonight.”

All three women looked around in unison at a man standing at the bar, which tipped his beer politely and then went back to chatting with the guy next to him.

“Oooo girl, he is good looking. Dang, if you don’t talk to him I will.”

Lexi looked down at the table and spun the salt shaker in circles,

“Bernie, it’s nice of him to do that…but I, well you know I am really not ready to date.”

Trying not to be condescending Bernadette took the salt away and licked her hand,

“Lexi you haven’t been ready to date since 1987 when you met Ruben, it’s a damn miracle you are even here tonight.”

“Maybe you should at least say thank you.”

Annabelle’s voice was soft and gentle. She always tried to encourage her friend without being too pushy.

“No, I can’t. The last time I tried to date…you know Twan and all. It was such a mess.”

Bernadette rolled her eyes and stood up,

“Yeah…You and Twan, there’s a good example. He was crazy about you and all you could think about is Mike. Michael, Michael, Michael.”

“Shhhhh, shut up Bernie. Somebody might hear you.”

Lexi playfully punched her sister in the arm before taking the shot in front of her.

“No one in THIS bar either knows or cares about Mike, Michael or Mikey.”

At that Bernie walked off to find the restroom and left Lexi and Belle together.

“She just wants you happy Lex.”

“I know, I’m just not ready. I still love him Belle.”

“Yeah…he loves you too.”

“Do you think?”

“Of course, I mean I haven’t talked to him. But I still remember those phone calls in the middle of the night. Lexi, that’s not the kind of thing that just stops. Plus with what just happened …you know, down in San Diego. Yeah, my guess is he misses you too.”

Belle watched Lexi as she tried to gather her thoughts before speaking,

“He threatened me with ‘lannah. He told me he was going to take her Belle.”

“Excuse me?”

Annabelle saw the tears form in her friends eyes and saw that she was serious,

“What happened?”

“I’ve been a mess, drinking too much from… well just everything and he came over one night. I had drunk a lot of wine and I was passed out. He told me that he would take her if I didn’t straighten up.”

“Wait…what?”

Lexi moved the shot glass away from her before she spoke,

“This is the first time I have had a drink since that night, I am terrified he might have someone watching me. I can’t lose my baby…I just can’t.”

“Why haven’t you told me this? You know I would help you…and Lex, he loves you he would never take Alannah from you.”

Closing her eyes and doing her best to compose herself Lexi said softly,

“I don’t think he does love me anymore. He was…hmm Belle; he was so hateful to me. It hurt and it scared me so much.”

“But you’ve talked to him since then haven’t you?”

Lexi looked around and whispered quietly, still afraid that someone might be listening.

“Only..um, only down in San Diego.”

Annabelle looked at her completely taken aback,

“Well how was he then? I mean, with what you and your sister did he should have been kissing your ass.”

It surprised Lexi to hear Belle curse, she was always so proper,

“I didn’t see him very long and Bernie hasn’t really talked about it. He was, let’s see, I guess patient might be the best way to describe how he treated me that night. Yeah patient….and then he was gone.”

“Gone?”

Lexi took a deep breath and rubbed her hands down her legs,

“Yeah, he took him and was just gone.”

All she could do was bite her lip and shake her head as Bernie walked back up to the table followed by the man from the bar.

“Hey guys, this is Patrick. I hope you don’t mind but I invited him to sit with us since he bought that round.”

The look Lexi shot at her sister should have cut her in half but instead she was caught off guard by the warm smile of the man who sat down next to her.

“Hi, I really hope I’m not bothering you on your birthday. I won’t stay long, I promise. By the way my name is Patrick…Pat Grant.”

She was more than caught off guard; she was speechless for a moment, because Patrick Grant had the most beautiful blue eyes she had ever seen.

_____________________________________________

He had tried not to think about it but it had stuck in his head all day, especially after Alannah had mentioned it earlier. So after the kids were asleep he slipped out, finding the keys to the Escalade and disappeared before security knew he was gone. He let out a small whoop of excitement as he made it onto the freeway and headed towards Santa Monica, it felt good to be free at least for the moment. Maybe they could talk and just clear the air as he couldn’t stand it any longer and he still had the present he had picked out for her months ago…it wasn’t quite midnight so technically it was still her birthday.

As he turned on the street he saw the headlight in the driveway. Pulling over he turned off the truck and watched as Lexi swung her leg off of the back of a Harley and stood in the driveway patiently waiting on a man to join her. Michael gripped a bottle of juice tightly as the couple walked to the door and stood a few moments illuminated by the porch light. It wasn’t hard to miss the body language especially when he finally leaned forward and kissed her, a kiss that to Michael seemed to go on and on.

Watching Lexi with another man set him off, and he pounded the bottle against the side of the door where it shattered and cut his wrist.

“Ahh…damn….DAMN!”

Michael looked around for something, anything to wrap around his hand and finally found a t-shirt of Prince’s in the back seat.

As he turned back to wrap it around his wrist he accidently honked the horn and he saw that Lexi looked over and suddenly stepped away from the man that she was with.

“What are you doing here? Why are you watching me Michael?”

Reaching over with his one good hand, Lexi jumped back as the broken bottle rolled out and shattered at her feet.

“Lex, I cut myself.”

“You what? Michael! God, come inside, wait…scoot over, let me park the truck in the driveway at least.”

Michael made his way to the passenger seat and Lexi pulled the truck into the driveway and they both hurried inside to her bathroom.

He was embarrassed and jealous all at the same time.

“How did you do this Michael?”

Lexi asked as she rinsed the wound out.

“The bottle broke.”

“OK….”

Lexi leaned over to examine the wound,

“You all dressed up…you went out huh?”

“I met the girls for my birthday Michael.”

He couldn’t help but stare at her cleavage billowing out of the bustier she was wearing,

“That ain’t no girl on that Harley…”

“That ain’t none of your business anymore …”

Lexi poured peroxide over his wrist and he hissed as it stung and began to bubble.

“I think it is, I don’t know who he is and I don’t want strangers ‘round my daughter.”

“Don’t move.”

Lexi went to get paper towels from the kitchen to dry his injury, and so she could take a deep breath. She didn’t want to cry…why did she always have to be such a damn cry baby? All she could imagine was a life of being alone because she could never really get away. It wasn’t fair….he didn’t want her, but he didn’t want anyone else to have her either.

Pulling the towels off the roll she returned to where he had sat down on her vanity chair and said,

“Let me dry this off, I think I can fix you up to where you won’t need any stitches. You didn’t cut any tendons and it’s not that deep, then you can go ahead and get back home.”

“Thanks Lex…I’m really glad I sent you to med school, you know.”

His attempt at humor was lost on her and so he sat quietly while she worked on his hand.

Her perfume was starting to drive him wild, and being so close to her was making him crazy. Closing his eyes he tried to ignore the mounting tension he felt between them, but it was quickly becoming a losing battle. Her smell, the golden tan color of her skin, the fullness of her breasts so close to his lips. He wanted her, needed her……. god he had to have her.

Lexi hands trembled as she placed the last of the bandages across his wrist. She could feel the heat of his breath on her skin, leaving goose bumps down her arm…causing her nipples to constrict with desire.

“You should probably have someone take a closer look at that in the morning.”

Nothing was said, Michael didn’t move and as she looked down she saw that his eyes were intense as he stared back up at her.

“Michael…please don’t do this.”

“Do what…”

“Make me love you.”

Reaching up he ran his thumb gently across her jaw, before tracing it seductively along her neck and finally gently pulling down the bustier exposing her breast,

“You still love me girl?”

Lexi moaned as his lips found her nipple,

“Yes..ahhhh, Michael, mmmm I do.”

Pulling the bustier around her waist he gathered her breasts in his hands, pushing them together as Lexi leaned on the countertop watching their wanton display in the mirror.

Michael sat her on his lap, so that she straddled him and kissed her. He let his lips touch every soft part of her mouth. His tongue delved in and out mimicking the seductive moves he soon planned to use elsewhere on her body.

“I miss you Alexis…I can’t lie. I wanna be with you.”

“I don’t want to hurt anymore Michael…I’m so tired of hurting over you.”

Running his hands down her back he pushed her hips into his stomach,

“You think that guy is gonna make you feel better girl…better than me?”

Squeezing her ass he bit down on her lower lip and whispered,

“Take me to our bed Babygirl…”

A tiny moan escaped her lips when Michael spoke those words. It was all she wanted to do, all she had thought about lately. Even as much as he had hurt her with his words, they both understood their bodies could never deceive one other.

Her head spun and her heartbeat was roaring in her ears as she kissed him. All rational thought was gone as she silently answered his question by leading him to the one place she never thought she would share with him again…her bed, their bed…the bed that still had the broken headboard after all those years.

Lexi hesitated for a moment as she stood there contemplating her decision, wondering why she was falling right back into the same pattern with him.

Michael moved behind her, his lips soft on her neck,

“What’s wrong Lex?”

 She felt his hands working on the bustier and soon it fell free from her waist,

“Its, Its…just that I…”

His hands were warm as they moved across her soft skin, caressing her gently as she tried to focus.

“Uh…Michael, I”

Gently he rolled her nipple under his palm and sighed in her ear,

“sssmmm, gurl. Why have we been fighting? We’re supposed to be together.”

Her resistance was gone, she collapsed back against him…Wanting him to take her to all the places the whispers of his voice promised.

“I brought you something.”

Their bodies swayed slowly back and forth as he continued to touch her gently.

“For my birthday?”

“I actually have had it for a while…for when the baby was born.”

Lexi stopped moving and Michael realized he should have waited to bring it up,

“Alexis…here look its beautiful, just like you…and our babies.”

He reached into the pocket of his pants and brought out a necklace, which he clasped around her neck.

“Go…go look in the mirror.”

Michael saw the uncertainty in her eyes as she glanced towards him and then back at herself. She was still fingering the delicate pearls when he once again moved behind her letting her hair down to cascade around her shoulders.

“The large one in the middle is for you Lex…so perfect, beautiful, soft…smooth to the touch. It looks fragile but in reality, strong and will last forever if it’s handled just right. And the small ones on either side are for “lannah and Blanket, so much like their Mother and…”

His voice trailed off and he buried his face in her neck and his arms wrapped around her waist.

“I’m sorry Baby…I’m so sorry”

Her threatening tears didn’t allow her to answer so she just let him curl around her and she grasped him closer to her body.

“I….Lex, I was so scared for you. I still am.”

She could hear his voice break and knew he was crying.

Finally he turned her around and she saw his tear stained face, looking back at her,

“It wasn’t you I was mad at. It was me…I never should have let you get so down…”

Lexi finally couldn’t take his words anymore and her tears began to spill over too.

“Those things I said to you, Lex…”

Michael turned and walked over to the bed and sat down. She could see he was trembling and anxious.

“Michael, you have to calm down.”

Sitting down beside him she rubbed his back.

“Take a deep breath Babe.”

“No, I have to tell you. Lex…I was wrong to treat you like that.”

He wiped his eyes and took her hand in his,

“There is so much I don’t tell you; so much I just don’t think about when I finally get to be alone with you and the kids.”

Pushing his hair back Lexi, could see the hurt in his eyes,

“I’ve always been there for you Michael. You don’t have to hide anything from me; don’t you know you can trust me?”

He took a long pause and seemed to look off into the distance before he answered her,

“You’ve always been so strong Lex…you might be emotional but you can handle so much. Watching you fall apart broke my heart…you are supposed to take care of me. I don’t know how to act to fix you girl.”

“But Michael, we made it though me being sick.”

“That’s different; I can find you a Doctor. I can take you to Neverland…Babygirl, how am I supposed to fix all that stuff that is breaking your heart?”

Squeezing his hand for a moment she finally lay back in the bed and said,

“I don’t know Michael, I really don’t know.”

“’lannah said you go talk to a friend on Wednesdays, is that a counselor”?”

“Yeah”

Michael lay down beside her, placing his head on her shoulder,

“Lexi, I’m sorry I said those things to you. I was really scared for you and ‘lannah.”

Lexi’s tears ran down on his forehead as she remembered what had happened in that very bed months earlier,

“Michael did you mean it when you said it was only sex to you?”

She barely heard him as he turned his face into her neck and whispered,

“No…I love you so much.”

She rolled over to face him and asked,

“Then why Michael, why would you say something so heartless? Do you know how many nights I have been right here in this bed and heard you say it over and over in my head?”

Tracing the fullness of her lips with his finger he paused before he spoke,

“I guess I wanted you to hurt as much as I have been Lex. But I already knew you were…it was so stupid and cruel. I can never, ever make it up to you I know that.”

She rolled over onto her back and stared at the ceiling,

“Can we ever fix this Michael?”

“I don’t know…I want to. I just couldn’t stand it anymore. I had to make sure you knew the truth…I wanted you to know that I still love you Lex.”

“I still love you too Michael.”

He reached out and slowly passed his fingers along her stomach, watching the goose bumps form after each pass.

“I wanna be with you Alexis.”

“I know…”

“Will you let me make it up to you tonight?”

His hand slid underneath the waist of her jeans and found her waiting folds…

Michael watched as she closed her eyes and rose slightly towards his hand.

Leaning forward he whispered against her ear,

“Let me treat you like my Queen tonight…you always have been Baby. I want you so much, I always make love to you Alexis…I tried to fight it. But god…I can’t help but make love to you.”

Raising the middle finger he had between her legs to her lips, they both sucked the wetness off together. Until Michael moved over to lie on top of her, their tongues intertwined in a slow languid dance.

He lifted his head up and watched her as she seem to yearn for more,

“Do you want me to leave Lex?”

Her hips flexed and her breathing was erratic,

“No…stay. Damn you Michael…stay, I want you so much.”

He felt victorious and his lips once again found her breast, already hardened with desire he sucked it even higher as her head tilted back for more.

Sliding to his knees he removed his shirts and turned his attention quickly back to Lexi, he knew she was wet and he couldn’t wait to taste her again. Unbuttoning her jeans he slid them over her hips and tossed them aside. Pulling her g-string aside he noted that she was freshly shaved and smooth as his lips sank upon her. Spreading apart her folds Michael focused on her swelling bud, sucking and sliding his tongue around in seductive circles, leaving no doubt that this was more than sex as far as he was concerned.

Rising up on her elbows, Lexi watched him as much as she could. Pressing his face into her she watched his lips became soaked with her essence. As his fingers entered her, the luscious sounds as he stroked turned her on as much as the feeling of him moving them inside of her. When he once again took a long slow suck of her bud and lightly flicked his tongue across it, she felt her body begin to unravel. Michael rotated his fingers reaching for her special spot,

“Come on Alexis…let me watch you come.”

She fell back on the bed and her climax lasted forever, Michael never stopped stroking her in just the right spots. He only stopped to gently taste her again. Making sure he had sampled all of her before he shared their love with a deep delving kiss.

Holding her close as she shook slightly Michael asked,

“You alright Babe?”

“Mmm hmmm, that was amazing.”

“Do you know how much I love to do that for you?”

Lexi opened her eyes finally and looked at him,

“I used to Michael…”

He felt his heart sink as he realized just how much he had hurt her,

“I promise I will make it up to you Lex…”

Standing up he removed the rest of his clothes and lay back down beside her. Lexi reached for him but he took her hand and moved it away.

“No…not this time.”

Moving on top of her he spread her legs apart with his knee, grasping his shaft with hand. He pushed gently inside, letting her accept him at her own pace.

“Ahhh…yes. Michael, I want you so much.”

“I want you to Lex.”

Her legs stretched up and around his back and soon he was moving steadily in and out of her. Both of them moaning, calling out for each other in sheer bliss.

“Ahh tell me you believe me now Lex”

Moving astride him, Lexi began to roll over and over again, and his hands were everywhere on her body.

“Aye Michael aye ….I do.”

Grabbing her hips he thrust deep inside,

“You’re mine Alexis…Don’t ever forget you’re mine”

She fell on him as her orgasm took her, his words echoing in her ears….

______________________________________________________

She was exhausted from lack of sleep and he was giddy from happiness when he finally dressed the next afternoon.

“Michael I wanted to ask you if it would be alright if “lannah and I came to The Ranch next week. its spring break and I think it would be nice for us all to be together.”

She noticed that he got quiet and didn’t answer her question. Putting her arms around him she said,

“I would really like to see the baby too.”

Lexi felt him stiffen against her and she pulled away wondering what she might have said to upset him.

“You can’t see him and I can’t have you at The Ranch either.”

It was amazing how quickly the same old feeling of hurt could come back. How quickly his words could cut her down.

She brought her hand up to the necklace he had given her only hours earlier, removing it from her neck and laying it in his palm.

“I guess I don’t need this Michael…I don’t need a necklace or your meaningless validations to know I am strong.”

“Wait, Lex……”

To be continued…….

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