End of Innocence: IV

End of Innocence: IV

January 2000

The vibration of her cell phone forced Lexi off of the bed and into the hallway so that she wouldn’t wake her sleeping child. It gave Michael a moment to look at Alannah closely. Her long black eyelashes fell upon her full cheeks and her Mother’s nose fit perfectly in the center of her oval face. He recognized Lexi’s lips and his eyes, picking up her tiny hand he caressed long fingers that looked so like his own. Her hair was long and pulled back with a single bow and hung in soft dark brown ringlets, and he marveled at the rich smooth color of her skin…caramel was the best name he could come up with at the time.

The conversation Lexi was having on the phone began to filter through and he couldn’t help but listen in,

I know, I know Robert…I should have called you sooner. So I guess Bernadette found you?

Yes, we are fine. I am fine.

Mmm hmm, he knows. All he had to do was look at her.

Honey, we are still working through it. Neither one of us was expecting to see each other let alone deal with this….today.

I…I don’t know. He knows I’ll fight him, if he tries that. I won’t keep him from her Robert, if he wants to see Alannah I will let him, but custody is something else. That’s my baby…our family.

Ok, I will see you when you are done tonight for sure, but I will do my best to make it for the speech. How are you feeling, is your headache better?

Well you need to get more sleep when you travel. You are not as young as you think you are.

Did you make reservations? That place is always crazy.

That sounds great then, I will see you around 9:30.

And Babe, thank you for being so understanding…it means so much to me

I know you’re right. She does come first….. I love you too talk to you later.

Michael slid quietly off of the bed and joined Lexi in the hallway. “Come on; let’s   go in here so she can get her nap.”

Lexi sat down on the couch and it suddenly occurred to her to ask,

“Michael, where are your children?

Michael handed her a glass of ice water and sat down beside her.

“Oh, their Nanny has them at the zoo and then some shopping. They will be here soon. Hopefully you can meet them.” He saw the wistful look on Lexi’s face and he had to ask, “You look like you want to say something Lex?”

“I just think it is incredible that your kids have Neverland for a home with all those animals, and they still want to go to the zoo. Just like their Dad.”

Lexi smiled at him and he felt like he would melt on the spot. He had forgotten how much he missed her smile and the sound of her voice.

“Do you love him Alexis”

“Michael, I never asked you that about Lisa.” Lexi closed her eyes hoping he would drop the subject.

“I would have answered you if you would have asked me.”

“I didn’t have to, it was everywhere I turned. Every tabloid, on television….Michael, all the times they tried to say that your relationship with her was a sham; I just looked in your eyes. I know you loved her. I didn’t have to ask you, I already knew the answer to that question.”

Unconsciously he tucked her hair behind her ear and rubbed his thumb over the earrings she was wearing. “That must have been hurtful to you. Especially after our divorce, everything was really crazy then.”

She didn’t have a reply, she just stared ahead trying to ignore the feelings his touch on her ear was creating.

“So, Alexis…do you love him?”

Her voice was barely above a whisper when she answered, and her eyes closed slowly, “Yes, I love him.”

“You don’t seem very excited, what’s wrong?”

Feeling like she couldn’t breathe she stood and walked to the window, “It’s different. Being with Robert is safe and reliable. I can count on him Michael.”

Springing up to stand behind her, Lexi could feel the warmth of his body he was so close. “When couldn’t you count on me? I was crazy about you from the minute I saw you. God Lex…I was lost when you left.”

He heard her voice crack as she began to speak, “Michael I was there, right there through so much. Your detox, Diana, Melissa, losing Brandon…but when I found that woman in your bed I just couldn’t cope anymore. I should have reacted differently I suppose, but I had already imagined you being with her for weeks in my mind. When I found her there, it just confirmed what had already been happening in my imagination.”

Michael was becoming frustrated and he spun her around to face him, “Why did you leave Los Angeles. Why did you leave me?”

“Why did you leave me?” Lexi’s shout startled them both and they stood there staring at each other trying to regain their composure.

“Damn it I told you before, Lisa was sick.”

“So you can’t call, or write or send a message? Michael I waited two months for you and nothing. I couldn’t put my life on hold like some groupie. I had my baby to think of.”

It was almost like he had forgotten about it but the look that came over his face was so intense she took a step back. “You, you left pregnant with my daughter and didn’t tell me. Why Alexis, what prompted you to be so cruel to me.”

“Don’t you dare say that to me Michael, you come to my house screwing my brains out for days and making forever promises yet your little “friend” is already knocked up with your baby? Then the reason you can’t even call me is because your ex-wife is sick. Don’t you dare point your finger at me…don’t you dare.”

“She’s my daughter!”

“I had every intention on telling you the last time we talked. That’s why I called. I wanted to make sure that there would even be a baby this time before I let you know. I didn’t want to go through what happened with Brandon again, I was terrified.” The tears she had been fighting finally started to fall unabated, “Michael…after you told me about Debbie and her pregnancy, I just felt like it didn’t matter anymore. That my baby and what we had between us was gone. If we did matter, and you cared enough about us, you would have come home after your video shoot in Brazil like you promised and we would be a family right now.”

“But I didn’t know about the baby Lex?”

“But you knew about me Michael. I was waiting…I thought we were going to be together. You told me you loved me.”

“I did…I do love you. Alexis I never stopped.” Michael wiped her cheek with the back of his hand.

“Then where were you?”

Michael pulled her close, stroking her back as he held her. “Lexi we have to figure out what is best for Alannah. I want to be part of her life.”

“We can, I always imagined you were happy with your family. Why would you need us…you finally had everything you wanted.”

Closing his eyes as a tear fell he placed a soft kiss on top of her head, “No Alexis, I don’t have everything I want…not everything.”

Looking up at him Lexi began to speak, “Michael I should…” before she could finish his lips lightly brushed hers. They both felt the pleasure of recognition, the shared pump of adrenaline as their hearts beat faster in anticipation. He stared at her for a long moment, searching for a reason to stop and hoping not to find one. When her eyes seemed to pull him closer he bent his head again and took her lips with his. Gently he pressed them against hers, remembering how soft and sweet they tasted under his own, until at last he swept them apart with his tongue…tenderly moving with hers in a seductive dance. Wrapping her arms around his neck Lexi began to lose herself in his kiss. The familiarity of his hair under her fingers, the warm smell of his cologne…It all rushed back to her and made her knees weak.  Sensing her willingness Michael walked her backwards towards the wall where he placed his leg between her thighs and pressed up against her body. “Alexis…babe” Michael’s voice was thick with passion as his lips found their way to her ear.

They were so involved that they didn’t hear the push of the card in the lock as Grace followed the excited children into the suite.

“Daddy!”

Prince’s distinct squeal permeated the room as soon as he saw his Father standing by the window. Michael pulled back from Lexi and they both quickly adjusted their clothes as Michael was besieged by two perfect children.

Glancing briefly at Lexi, Michael addressed the group,

“Prince, Paris…this is my friend Lexi.”

“Hello.” Prince said while Lexi noted that Paris’s eyes never lost sight of Michael.

“Lexi these are my children Prince and Paris.”

“Hello, it is nice to meet you both.” She was still blushing from being caught in an embarrassing position by Michael’s employee and did her best to avoid looking at her. Until Michael introduced her with his usual charm,

“Alexis this is Grace, our Nanny. She does a wonderful job, very discreet too.” Michael’s glance at his employee let her know that he would not tolerate any attitude on what she may have seen when she entered the room.

“Alexis pleasure to meet you, Michael we will be right back. I want to clean them up a bit from their day out.” Grace replied as she took the children’s hand and led them off.

It was then that Lexi heard Alannah cry from the bedroom, as she started to move…Michael asked, “Can I come too?”

“of course…”

“Mommy?” Alannah’s face was red when Lexi walked in the room.

“Hey sleepy head, are you ready to get up?” Lexi sat down next to her on the bed and waited for Alannah to sit up.

Reaching over, Lexi tickled her belly and she smiled. Michael piped up and said,

“I bet I know where she is really ticklish.”

“Oh yeah, where?” Lexi looked at him thinking he was crazy for thinking he could figure it out.

“Right here.” Michael reached down and tickled the bottom of Alannah’s feet. Eliciting loud giggles and wiggling in the bed.

Laughing along with them both Lexi finally stopped him, “OK OK she needs to go to the bathroom, she just woke up. Hold on. How did you know that anyway?”

Smiling… Michael said softly, “It’s a Jackson thing; we are all really ticklish on the bottom of our feet. I knew she wouldn’t be any different.”

She couldn’t help but smile as Michael looked down at the baby with so much love in his eyes, “Let me take her in here real quick, I will meet you in a second. I guess the kids can play together for awhile, is that alright?”

Michael’s face lit up, “Oh, that’s great. Yeah Lex…that’s really great.”

“Michael…” Lexi’s voice was quiet as she helped Alannah off the bed. “What happened just now….”

“We’ll talk about it later….” Michael’s hand reached out and softly touched hers as she walked by and he hoped he would find a way to hold her in his arms again.

“So that is Lexi?” Grace asked snidely as Michael walked in the kitchen.

Michael rolled his eyes and sighed, “Yes it is, and you will be cordial to her too.”

“Well she is very pretty Michael. Did she actually decide to bring you the duck this year? I will happy if I never have to see that stupid thing again in my life.”

Grace looked up to see Lexi standing there, she had heard the hurtful comment about the stuffed animal and it registered on her face. “Michael…I was just, um”

She was interrupted when Alannah walked up behind her, “Mommy I’m hungry.”

As Lexi reached down to pick her up, Grace’s eyes flew open when she saw the little girl. She looked from Alannah to Michael and back to Alannah again. Lexi could see the Nannies hands begin to shake as she reached in to the refrigerator, “I am making a snack for the children. She can eat with them…of course; of course she can eat with them.”

“Grace, we need to make sure Alannah is comfortable in the future. We will be seeing her often.” Michael glanced at Lexi who nodded her head slightly acknowledging their unwritten agreement.

“Yes Michael, I will make sure there are always accommodations. Here is some juice for now.” Grace handed Lexi a spill proof cup as she resumed gathering the food.

“Alannah would you like to play for awhile, there are kids here?” nodding her head as they walked in the play room in the adjoining suite she wiggled to be free of her Mother.

“Prince, Paris…this is Alannah would you be nice and share your toys with her for awhile? Grace is bringing you all a snack and then you can play some more.” Michael bent over and kissed Paris just as Grace brought in the food.

“We will be fine. Let them play.” Grace’s look assured Michael that she would take care of all the children until they were ready to leave.

“Thank you Grace, please use the intercom if you need us.” Taking Lexi’s hand Michael closed the door and walked back inside the Master Suite and up to the bar. “Would you like a drink?”

“No, I don’t think I…you know what I do. I really think I could use one. I know it’s late but how about a mimosa?”  Lexi hadn’t thought about her choice until Michael giggled. “Yeah, I do remember that day. How is your Mother?”

Michael popped the bottle of champagne and poured her a heavy glass mixed light with juice. “She is great, I should probably see her more. How is Miss Sally?”

Lexi smiled as she sat down again on the couch, “She’s alright, and we finally got her to move out of the house.”

Sitting down beside her Michael asked, “Do you still have the Santa Monica house Lex?”

It took her a moment to answer because she suddenly felt a huge lump in her throat. “Yeah, I still have it. I wanted to sell it, but Robert convinced me that it belonged to Alannah.”

She took a long drink off of the Mimosa as she waited for him to speak, “He sounds like a good guy, how did you meet him.”

“He’s a Doctor at Sinai too.” Realizing she gave away where she lived she took another drink.

“You are in New York City?” Michael turned in his seat to face her. “Do you know how many times I have been there since…since the last time I saw you?”

“Michael I know every single time you have stepped foot in that city. I saw your cars one day as we were shopping, it scared me so badly.”

“Why, because I might take her?”  He moved closer to her as he waited on her answer.

“Yes, or I might…”

“Might what Lex, slip up? God forbid you be with the man you really love.”

Downing the rest of the drink she shrunk back against the corner of the couch, “Michael, You had a wife and Lisa. What was I supposed to do? I didn’t want to hurt anymore. He loved me and my baby.”

“My baby, Alexis that’s my baby, you didn’t even give me a chance to know her.”

“You went and had your own babies Michael, can’t you tell…don’t you know how much that crushed me. Especially after all that we had been through, I was so excited to tell you and you never came back. I felt like you used me to try and get over Lisa and it didn’t work so I was just tossed aside.”

“That’s not true, it’s not true. I was just wrapped up in so much Lexi. I couldn’t think straight. Everything happened at once, but I didn’t use you. I swear to God. But you are right, I should have called. I was wrong, I could have found time. I guess I just always counted on you being there.”

There it was, what she always wanted to hear and now that she heard it she didn’t feel vindicated or joyous…she felt empty. Lexi didn’t know if it was her emotions or the champagne but she knew in her heart she had to forgive him and ask for her own in return. Leaning forward she drew a deep breath and Michael saw the tears drop onto her bare legs. Finally she looked up into his eyes and she didn’t see anger or hatred. She only saw love and it made it easier to finally tell him, “I’m sorry. Mi Mi, Michael…please forgive me. I’m sorry for hurting you like this. I never stopped loving you; I didn’t know what to do.”

He stared at her tear streaked face for what seemed like forever before he finally kissed her, a deep passionate kiss that they both had been starving for, for years.

When Michael finally pulled back he brushed his thumb against her swollen lips and said, “Come with me to the bedroom Alexis, I want to make love with you.”

“I want to Michael, but I can’t…he’s so good to us.”

“I can’t stand this.”

“I’m sorry…I don’t know what to do.”

“Be with me Alexis.”

Lexi shook her head looking up at him with sad eyes…“One day Michael, somehow it will happen again.”

Michael kissed her and finally stood up and poured Lexi another Mimosa while she went to the restroom. He could hear her cell phone vibrating on the coffee table while she was gone. Over and over it rang and rang until she finally came back and he pointed to it. “Your phone has been ringing the whole time, it must be important.”

Opening the cover Lexi saw that it was her Husband and felt a twinge of guilt as she answered,

“Hi”

“Yes…this is Dr. Garcia-Thomas”

Michael watched as the color drained from her face and he rushed to her side as it appeared she was going to faint.

“Where is he?

“I…um, I don’t know. I need to get there.”

“Yes give me some time please.”

Lexi flipped the phone closed and it slipped from her hands onto the floor. Michael had to support her and practically carry her to a chair. “Lex, what is it? What’s wrong?”

Her face was white as she looked at him because she was in total shock. “Robert…collapsed at the conference. I think he’s gone Michael, they have him on life support. I have to go…”

To be continued….

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