New Beginnings: Part II

New Beginnings: Part II
July 1991

Michael moved Lexi’s chestnut hair off her back and nuzzled her neck. The dampness of her skin that met his lips tasted slightly salty and he felt her shudder under his touch as he moved down her shoulder. “Mmmm you taste good, I am happy to be back with you again.” Michael whispered in her ear and reached for the clasp of her bikini top. Lexi leaned forward slightly as he popped it open sliding his hands underneath. Raising her arms up and over her head she wrapped them around his neck and pulled him close, “Sss, ahhhh , Michael….god your hands. Are you sure we are alone?” Michael pinched her nipples softly between his thumb and forefinger rolling them slowly back and forth as he spoke from behind her. “Yes, I sent everyone away for the rest of the day. I missed you so much since I have been in New York; I want to get to know every part of you all over again girl.” Michael brought one of his hands around to caress her back and watched as a stray droplet of sweat ran down her spine. It reminded him of her…spicy, hot and wet. He felt himself growing hard with desire and he bent down and placed his lips against the small of her back and followed the drop down her back with soft kisses that made her skin stand up with desire. His hands moved around and gently touched her stomach as she pulled his mouth to hers for a long slow kiss. Lexi felt his hand drop into the top of her swim suit bottom where he pulled it open finding her swollen crown of flesh waiting for his willing fingers. Their tongues moved together in a subtle dance that was soon joined by the circles made my Michael’s fingers sliding around her now dripping entrance. He slowly slid his free hand from her breast down to her thigh and pushed her legs apart, forcing her open for his fingers to have greater access as he pressed inside her warmth. Lexi dropped her arms down from his neck and deftly hooked her thumbs inside her bikini bottoms and slid them off, while pushing her backside closer to Michael. He swiftly untied her top so that she was finally fully exposed to him as he pulled her back against his chest. “God, you are so wet…I have thought about you every night since I have been gone. How tight you are when I am inside you, how soft your skin is when I touch you. I missed you so much…I want you so much.” Michael pushed his fingers up inside her and she inhaled sharply at his intrusion. “Michael, I want you inside me…put yourself inside me right now.” Lexi could hardly breathe and her hips were grinding against his hand uncontrollably. He swiftly stood up and removed his pants and t-shirt, sweat beginning to cover him too from the mid summer heat wave, or was it the heat from their bodies? Laying back down on the lounge he lifted Lexi up slightly and pushed into her tight, wet, entrance. He watched as she arched her back as he thrust his shaft into her. He became harder the more he observed the curve of her hips and the small of her back as she moved upon him. His hands danced along her skin, feeling the smoothness of her back and legs as she flexed like a cat leaping upon her prey. Soon he couldn’t take anymore and he sat up and pushed her face down into the lounge stroking her in and out, their primal groans only driving their lust more and more for each other. Lexi found her feet on either side of the lounge and stood up with Michael following, she kept her head down holding on to the end of the chair for balance and leverage, and moved back against him as he increased his speed and depth. Michael held her hips from behind and kept his steady pace up, stroking her over and over, their skin slapping together in the heat…Lexi rocked back and forth in time with him ready to feel him join her in her impending explosion. “Michael, oh god, Michael….yes, babe come with me. Right now, aye Michael, ahhhh.” Lexi felt her core turn to heat and melt over his shaft as it made its way in waves of energy through her body, shaking her without conscious thought and contracting her walls over and over again around him. Michael felt her orgasm begin and her release shook him to his root as his spine caught with the familiar fire that spread through his back and belly and he let go deep inside her, clutching her closely as they became one.

Carefully he caught her and they lay together on the lounge by the pool at Neverland, recovering from their lovemaking and excited to be together again after their month apart. Michael kissed her slowly and pulled her tight, “That was incredible. It’s so good to be home.” Lexi stroked his face with her fingers and Michael was entranced by the gold in her dark eyes, “I tried not to miss you Michael, but I did. I am glad you are here for a few days.” Michael held her close and softly kissed her, “I had to come back and see you, and it’s a holiday. I am happy you were able to get some time off too. I don’t normally celebrate July 4th you know…” Lexi sat up stretching from the cramped lounge, “Because of the church?” Michael shook his head, “Yes, but you make me want to have fun this year. We can have some friends and family up on Saturday for a Barbeque if you would like?” Lexi’s face lit up, “Michael are you serious? Like who, I mean just my family or what?” “Michael leaned forward and kissed her. “Both, Lexi…I want you to meet my family. Plus Mac is in L.A. right now, so I figured he can come up with his brother and your family of course. Is that OK with you?” Lexi stood up and walked towards the pool, Michael came to her and pulled her close. “What’s wrong, do you not want to do that. We can just stay here alone if you would rather?” Lexi looked up into his eyes and he saw them glossy with tears. “Michael, I just never thought I would ever meet your family or friends. I mean…I never thought I was good……” She let her voice trail off and pulled away, returning to the lounge chair to put her bikini back on suddenly feeling very naked in front of Michael. “Lexi, if you were going to say good enough…please, please don’t ever think that. Babe, you are more than good enough, you have been so special to me. I have learned that when something is special to you, share it with those you care about. All right?” Michael grabbed her from behind and turned her around pushing her bare chest against him. “God…You are so sexy…I really want you naked for the rest of the week.” Lexi put her arms around him and jumped into his arms wrapping her legs around his waist. “I feel the same way, can’t we just be here alone Michael. I don’t want to share you.” Michael kissed her deep and walked with her to the edge of the pool, “All I can tell you right now is that I want to keep you nice and wet girl. What do you think about that?” Lexi moved her hips against his stomach and kissed him deeper before whispering in his ear. “I am still pretty wet Michael, take me again and find out.” Michael laughed, “Oh I don’t think your THAT wet Lexi.” Michael stepped off into the pool and they sank down in the deep end. Lexi sputtered to the top, “That’s so not fair; I didn’t even get to hold my nose.” Michael was laughing and swimming away as fast as he could before she could get to him. He climbed out of the pool and watched her, her breasts floated on the top of the water and he could see the dark outline of her nipples pointing up, almost teasing him with their stiffness. His desire for her grew again and he walked to the waters edge. “Lexi let me help you out of the pool.” Michael offered his hand to her as she swam towards him. She could see his growing need and wondered what had caused him to become so suddenly aroused. “Michael, I should pull you back in with me.” “Believe me Lexi, in the water is not where I want to be right now.” Michael could feel his erection fully as she gave him her hand and he pulled her from the water and laid her on the edge of the pool, he pulled her bottoms off again. “Spread your legs.” Michael pushed her legs apart with his knees and pushed all the way inside her still slick walls with one shove of his hips. He became like a man possessed once inside and began moving in and out of her at a frenetic pace. Grabbing her legs he moved them around his neck kissing the inside of her ankles while he pounded into her over and over again. Lexi could feel the heat of the concrete burning her as he pushed her on its surface. “Michael what is it, oh god.” Lexi’s nails scratched down his back as he moaned his response and finally climaxed deep inside her.

“Let’s go to the house.” Michael finally said quietly. Leaving Lexi to wonder what had overcome him at the pool. He was such a mystery to her. He could be so open and honest and then be so closed up and reclusive. She guessed that inviting her here to Neverland had been a big step for him. He had hinted that it was personal and private and even though thousands of people had been through the gates, he didn’t bring the women he was sleeping with here. She still wondered if she was the only one he had. He had been in New York for awhile; but he was back and forth…recording his album, so there could be several women in his life. She had decided it was really none of her business, and that as long as he was good to her when they were together…then she was happy with that. She couldn’t expect much more from him, and even though they never spoke of it she thought he was happy with that arrangement. That’s why his announcement about meeting his family caught her off guard. What did that mean? How was he going to introduce her, friend, girlfriend, acquaintance? He was really ruled by his passion, as he had just shown by the pool and so she would just see how he was on Saturday. He might even change his mind and call it off. That would be fine with her; she preferred to be alone with him anyway.

“Are you hungry” Michael opened the refrigerator and pulled out two covered plates the cook had left for them earlier in the day. “Yes, are you cooking?” Lexi sat down at the counter and watched as he warmed the dishes in the microwave. “You are going to love it…almond chicken, brown rice and stir fry vegetables. Let me do the veggies real quick. Damn where is the wok?” Lexi giggled as she watched him dig thru the cabinets searching for the cookware. “Michael, Michael!” “What Lexi?” Michael turned around with a look of irritation on his face. Lexi pointed up above his head, “Its hanging right there.” Michael turned around and looked up and she could see his frustration as he reached up to grab the wok from its hanging place. “I don’t cook very much, but I guess you can tell right?” Michael waved the pan around like a warrior’s shield as Lexi climbed off her stool to help. “Give it to me, crazy man.” Lexi grabbed the wok and vegetables and quickly heated them up. Michael poured out their wine as Lexi put the plates on the counter. “Yeah I think that worked out much better with you doing the food.” Michael told her as he pushed up against her from behind and moved against her seductively. “Michael, do you want to eat or make love again?” Lexi turned to him kissing him deep. Finally breaking away from her lips he said, “I want to eat you! I know that…we haven’t made it there today have we? Lexi felt her stomach tighten at his words and the look in his eyes. “Michael, let’s start with food. I have a feeling we might need our strength later.” He playfully reached up and untied her top and pulled it down, grasping her breast in his hand. “What has gotten in to you? You are out of control!” Lexi held his hand and pulled him in for a kiss, “I might have to punish you later if you don’t stop.” “Oh yeah, I would like to see you try woman.” Michael grasped her hips and pulled her against him so she could feel him growing against her. “Michael let’s eat first, you know I want you. We have all week Babe.” Lexi pulled her top up and stepped away. “Let’s eat then” Michael sat down sulking and drained his wine glass and poured another, quickly draining it too. Finally he just sat the bottle in front of his plate and chugged off of it. Lexi watched him intently as he pushed the food around and after several minutes she gently asked, “Michael are you going to eat?” “Leave me alone Lexi! Why the hell are you bothering me?” Michael grabbed the wine bottle and stormed upstairs slamming a door behind him. Lexi sat stunned at the counter. She had no idea what she had done to cause him to lash out at her like that. Upstairs she could hear him slamming things around and she was afraid to move but she decided that she was not going to stay in the house with him all week if he was going to be so volatile. Her bags were still by the front door and she slipped on her flip flops and grabbed her car keys and left as quickly and quietly as she could.

Lexi was loading her bags in the back seat when Michael came around the back of the driveway. “Please don’t go. I didn’t mean to take it out on you Lexi. I…I have just been under a lot of pressure lately. Stay here with me.” Lexi eyed the drivers door but he was already in between it and her. “Michael, what is going on with you? You are really all over the place.” Michael held out his hand to her, “Lexi I need to talk to you, and tell you…tell you…” His voice trailed off and he sat down sideways in the drivers seat and held his face in his hands. She could hear his muffled cries and she saw his shoulders start to shake with the sobs that were racking his body. Lexi moved to him and knelt down. “Michael, Oh my God what is wrong. Please tell me.” She held him close and let him cry into her arms. She had no idea what was wrong but whatever it was she knew she had to stay and let him work it out.

Hours had passed since Michael’s breakdown in the driveway and he hadn’t spoken another word to Lexi. He had simply disappeared downstairs to his dance studio and turned up the music. Lexi had finished her lunch and cleaned up the kitchen and even took a nap on the couch. Michael paused and watched her sleeping before he disappeared to his room. Lexi wandered around the house trying to find him and eventually found the bolted double doors of his bedroom. Knocking steadily she spoke to him through the closed door, “Michael, you asked me to stay and I am here…please tell me what is wrong. Let me help.” Lexi sat down next to the door and waited. Minutes turned into hours and finally she laid down and fell asleep again.

Michael crept to the door and cracked it open and saw her on the floor. He picked her up and brought her inside his room and put her on his bed. He crawled in beside her and thought about the last woman who had been there with him. He felt like he was betraying her memory somehow by having Lexi share this space, how could he explain what had happened earlier. How could he tell her not to go in certain places in his home? Like how he had shut of the master bathroom since the last time Hunter had been home. Her things were still in there just like she left them, waiting for her to come back and use them again. Her closet still had her clothes in it too. He knew he had to try and explain it to her now that she was here but he didn’t know how and he was so tired. He had virtually no sleep while he was in New York recording. God, these were the times he missed Hunter the most, when he was keyed up and she would have just calmed him with her touch and a whisper in his ear.

Michael went into his bathroom and shut the door and looked for something for his ever present headache. Sometime he wondered if it really hurt or not anymore, but he knew it made him feel better. Taking the pills, he washed it down with another half a bottle of wine. When he came back out he looked over at the bed and noticed that Lexi was no longer sleeping in it. As he looked up he saw the light on in the master bathroom. “Oh no”, he said quietly. Pushing the door open he saw Lexi standing there looking around in a daze. “Lexi?” Michael whispered. Turning around Lexi looked at him with a pained look on her face. “I…I don’t understand. Michael if there is someone else just tell me. Honestly, it won’t surprise me…not that much.” She walked over to the counter and picked up Hunter’s perfume bottle and Michael rushed over and took it from her hands. “No…no, it’s not what you think. I promise you.” Michael moved her back to the bedroom and closed the door to the bathroom quickly. “What do you mean it’s not what I think, Michael it is quite clear another woman lives here with you. I THINK I really should go now.” Michael grabbed her by the waist and spun her around. “Please don’t leave me Lexi. I need you so much.” Lexi pulled away and threw open the door. “How dare you Michael, how dare you tell me that when you have God knows how many women at your beck and call. I feel like such a fool…again.” Michael caught her and pulled her close, “Lexi please let me explain to you, I, I don’t know how to tell you. It hurts so much.” Suddenly Lexi remembered her talk with Miko at the coffee shop “Michael has had his heart broken too. Really broken, and he is still recovering. I am not saying he is a saint, but you are the first girl I have seen him really become interested and excited over in a very, very long time.” She also remembered when she met him at the hotel on that first night and the way he subtly pulled away from her. “Michael if you have something, anything to tell me that will salvage what we might have between us…say it now.” Lexi held his face and watched the turmoil twist his features as he wrestled with the fears and grief that still gripped him.

Michael looked at Lexi and fought the urge to run away. He knew that to truly begin to heal he needed to tell her of his past. “I have to leave this room for now Lexi. I can’t tell you here.” “OK Michael, we will go then.” Lexi took his hand and led him downstairs. “Why don’t we go for a walk? It is a beautiful night out.” Lexi led him to the front door and took a deep breath knowing that whatever was coming was tearing him apart and she would need all her training and personal experience to help him. They walked for a moment and came to a fork in the pathway, “I don’t wanna go that way, not yet.” Michael steered her down a path away from the gardens and barns and towards the lake. Finally they sat on a bench and he let out a deep sigh.

Lexi could hear cheerful carousel music playing softly on the hidden speakers somewhere near where they were sitting. She wished she could turn them off and be with him quietly in the dark, whatever it was he had to say to her did not need the macabre backdrop of forced happiness. Michael didn’t seem to notice the music though, and took her hand and sat dejectedly for a long while. Finally he began to speak. “Lexi remember the day I saw you at Jason’s Los Angeles office?” Lexi silently nodded her head and squeezed his hand supportively. “Well, I haven’t been honest with you; you know…about that day, Jason and I’s relationship and um, how you fit into it all.” Lexi pulled away slightly, “What do you mean you and Jason’s relationship? Does he work for you or not Michael?” Michael looked at the ground and blinked away a tear, “Lexi, Jason works for a trust I set up. The same trust that gave you the grant on your clinic. There are several more issues he is overseeing for us as well.” Lexi’s leg started shaking up and down nervously as he spoke. “I was supposed to give you the first check, but didn’t know how to explain everything to you. So, I just gave it back to Jason to deal with. It just seemed easier than, than dealing with it all again.” Lexi pulled her hand away and folded her arms across her chest, “What do you mean Michael, dealing with it all again. You have me so confused.” As soon as she said it, she put it all together in her mind. A trust, a lawyer, grants for low income neighborhoods…and finally the brief glimpse of a picture of a hauntingly beautiful young woman she had seen on a legal paper at Jason’s office when he had stepped out of the room. After all it was a memorial clinic….Michael tried to find the words to speak but Lexi hushed him with her fingers over his lips. “Don’t, I understand. More than you know Michael, I understand.” When she looked up into his eyes, he saw his own pain reflected back at him. A single tear drop fell down her cheek and he finally took a breath knowing that at last she understood.

“Who was she” Lexi asked softly. Michael wiped his eyes and half smiled, “Her name was Hunter”. “That’s the name on the clinic right?” Lexi brushed one of his curls away from his face and waited for his reply. “Yes, her Mother wants it that way. She asked that the first project have her name on it, even if no one remembers her.” Lexi squeezed his hand tight. “You remember her Michael and so does her Mother, that’s all that matters.” “She was everything to me Lexi, I miss her so much.” Lexi watched as Michael’s eyes ran over with tears and she held him close, feeling her own heart breaking along with his.

“How long has it been Michael?” Sighing he brought his hand up to his mouth and shook his head, and his eyes seemed focused on something faraway. “It seems so long sometime…almost three years now. Isn’t it supposed to get better? I have days where I am fine, and then there are days like today where it all hits me. Oh god, Lexi…I’m sorry, please know I am glad you are here. You know that right?” Michael took her face in his hands, “I do care about you…I really do.” Lexi brought her hand up and covered his, “I know Michael, I know. We only learn to live with it, that’s all.” Now it was her turn to cry and Michael kissed her tenderly, “Yeah we do learn don’t we, wait…we? Lexi what are you saying?” Lexi pulled away from him, “Don’t, please don’t ask me Michael.” Michael grabbed her shoulders and pulled her close, her face in front of his, “Lexi, what is it? Tell me.” Lexi tried to twist away out of his grip but he held her tight. “I don’t want to think about it.” Her voice was small and weak as she finally released her tears that she had held in for so long. Michael stroked her hair and pulled her close, not knowing what she suffered from but feeling that it must be every bit as painful as his loss was. He planted soft kisses on her face and cheeks and whispered to her that he would not let her go. Finally Lexi caught her breath and let her secret out. “It has been two years; my fiancé was picking up some cereal for Junior at the grocery store and saw a lady in the parking lot having trouble with her car. He was trying to help her get it started when they did a drive by on him. They thought he was somebody else and they left him there to die Michael. I was on duty that night and our truck got the call. I couldn’t help him, we did everything, but it wasn’t enough.” “Lexi…that’s awful. How did you manage?” Michael kissed the top of her head as she sat up. “I had no choice, you have to go on. People are depending on me and I know he wouldn’t have wanted me to waste my life.” Michael shrugged at her statement and told her, “I do my best, you know. She never would have been in the accident if it wasn’t for me. I let her go away, without me. All we wanted was to finish the tour and get ready for the baby.” Lexi’s mouth dropped at his admission. “Michael she was pregnant with your baby too?” He nodded his head and she saw his bottom lip tremble with emotion as his eyes once again filled with tears. “I never got to say goodbye Lexi, the next time I saw her, all I had were her ashes in a tiny wooden box. Sometime, I think she is just going to open the door and come home.” Lexi didn’t have any words for him right then and just held him tight as a new round of emotion overcame him. They ended up speaking long into the hot summer night about their pasts before finally walking back inside Neverland with all its treasured memories.

The next morning Lexi helped Michael pack up Hunter’s clothes in the closet. Michael decided he only wanted to save a pair of her jeans and a red evening gown. This along with their pictures and her passes from the tour as well as her letters to him and obituary were placed in her backpack that Michael told Lexi she carried with her everywhere. Michael placed something inside the backpack but she didn’t ask him what it was, obviously it was something that meant a lot to him because he had spent a long time looking at it before he put it away. Lexi could tell the backpack had been well used. The green was faded and the corners were frayed, but she knew he would always treasure it. Lexi found a box and packed up some of the items from the bathroom for him. She looked at the bottle of perfume and thought it sounded very exotic and classy “Bal a Versailles”, she didn’t even know if she was pronouncing it right, but she did know that she had smelled it on Michael before and she thought it was special that he tried to keep Hunter alive in his memory that way. She carefully dusted off the bottle and placed it back on the counter for him and turned off the light.

The cook had come and gone, along with housekeeping, and security had checked the place over just as quickly and left them alone again, taking the donation of Hunter’s things to the Salvation Army with them when they left. “Thank you Lexi, as hard as it was to do, I know it is something I had to deal with.” Lexi smiled at him, “Your welcome, you will be all right. Everyone’s path is different.” Michael stood up and took her by the hand, “Come with me.” She stood and took his hand and he led her up the staircase to his room. He led her inside and gently closed the door and sat her softly on the bed. Kneeling down in front of her he caressed her bare legs, “There was a time when I didn’t think I would ever share this space with anyone again, I am so glad it’s you. I want to show you how much you mean to me Alexis…” Michael placed his lips on the inside of her knee and slowly kissed his way up her leg. When he crossed over he sighed deeply when he smelled her sex waiting for him there. “Lexi, you are so special to me girl.” He slowly slipped his finger inside her shorts and felt the softness of her lips tease him with her lusty temptation. Lexi ran her fingers through his hair and down his back urging him on, “Don’t stop touching me now Michael, it feels so good.” Up and down his finger worked, silkily sliding against the softness of her skin, Lexi threw her head back anticipating the moment she would feel him plunge into her depth but he was holding back and her ache was excruciating. Michael pulled aside her shorts and finally tasted her sweetness, her juice was hot and flowing and the tip of his tongue spun in lazy circles lapping up her stickiness before it had a chance to escape her chasm. Finally relenting to fate he pulled her shorts from her legs and sucked on her swollen center. Lexi lay back on the bed and wrapped herself around his neck and shoulders and pushed against his tongue and lips. Michael could feel her button become hard and slick as he ran his bottom lip across its surface in slow languid strokes. Lexi’s moan signaled to him her impeding climax and he felt her muscles contract as he grasped her hips and let his lips and mouth, pull at her feverishly through her extended orgasm. As she rolled her hips he stood with her still bucking in pleasure and stepped out of his clothes entering her with a moan of satisfaction. Michael pressed his lips, still wet with her womanhood to her mouth and kissed her roughly. “You are incredible Lexi, come with me. You make me crazy when I am inside you, you know that right?” Michael started driving into her and Lexi cried out his name. “Michael, yes…Michael. Come inside me, come with me.” He felt his heat build quickly and a powerful shudder overtake him. Moving him from deep inside as he spilled into her with a moan of release and a cry of satisfaction from her, they writhed on his bed that no longer belonged in the past. But now also belonged to a future, one where he could be free and have some peace at long last.

Lexi held him close as he fell asleep in her arms. She had known from the beginning that he didn’t sleep well. She had laid awake as he got up night after night when he thought she was still sleeping. She had also known from the beginning that he was drinking too much and taking something way too strong for his own good. She finally had her answers this weekend after his startling admission about his past when she helped him pack Hunter’s things away. She pretended she didn’t see the empty prescription bottles of pain pills, sleeping pills and anxiety medication. She pretended she didn’t see the empty bottles of wine and scotch in the trash or the sad looks from the cook and housekeeper as they silently pleaded for help when they tied up the sacks of garbage in the morning and made their way home for the day. Lexi held him close knowing that at least for now he was sleeping, maybe for the first time in weeks. She guessed if she was going to help him she had to do it one step at a time. Getting him to talk and help him pack up the past had been one step….getting him to get clean, well that would be another.

To Be Continued…..

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