Take It To The Limit

Take It To The Limit

December 2006

 

 

Lexi knocked on Alannah’s door, adjusting the jeans that she had just put on.

“ ‘lannah”, Lexi said as she opened the door, “Wash up…dinner is almost ready.”

“Ok” Alannah replied as she inserted a bookmark in her worn Harry Potter book.

The setting was warm and the glow from the Christmas tree stood out as Lexi moved through the living room to finish dinner. Placing their drinks and silver wear on the table, she made note of ‘lannah running through the house.

“Hey slow down…we got plenty of time crazy girl.”

Not hearing an answer, she shook her head and proceeded to serve up the enchiladas. Disregarding using a pot holder Lexi reached in with a spatula and dished out a couple for her daughter and was reaching back for hers when Alannah called her.

“Mom…MOM!”

“Yes Babygirl, sit down and I will bring you your plate.”

It was then she smelled his cologne…warm and bold, and before she could turn he spoke;

“That sure smells good, can I have some too?”

Her hand slipped and she burned her thumb on the side of the pan. Shrinking back, she dropped the spatula.

“Dammit…G— dammit”

The curse under her breath wasn’t missed by Michael as he stood at the entrance to the kitchen holding ‘lannah by the hand.

“Go sit, let me help your Mom.”

Michael pointed his daughter towards the table and moved to the kitchen sink where Lexi had begun to rinse her hand under the water.

“Let me see Lex.”

“Don’t, I’m fine.”

“Alexis, let me see your hand.”

Finally relinquishing her hand to him he took it in his and inspected it for a blister. Refusing to look at him she focused on the faucet, willing her eyes to stay dry but losing the battle.

His voice was quiet and soft as he held her fingers up to his lips,

“I’m sorry…really, Lex I’m so so sorry, I know how much I hurt you.”

Watching as a tear rolled down her cheek he pulled her close.

“Please forgive me…please forgive me so I can forgive myself.”

Lexi stood stiff, willing her body to not give in. Trying to fight the urge to take him in her arms and tell him how happy she was to see him again.

“Alannah needs to eat her dinner, have a seat. I made your favorite tonight.”

Stepping back Michael resigned himself to the possibility that he might not get her back. But seeing her back in their house, looking so beautiful he knew he had to keep trying. He loved her, and he really wanted to get her back.

______________________________

 

Lexi was startled to see a bodyguard standing in the living room, one she did not recognize and one who seemed to assess her, her daughter and their home with what she assumed to be disdain.

Remembering her manners she asked,

“Would you care for some dinner?”

He stood by the door, patiently waiting on Michael.

“No. Ma’am”

“Poppa, do you want Coke or water for dinner.”

“How about a water, can you get your Daddy some ice please.”

Alannah’s innocent question to Michael caused a slight reaction on the face of the bodyguard who was still facing Lexi.

Afraid of what he had just figured out Lexi approached him.

“I’m Mr. Jackson’s…Friend. We trust that whatever you see and hear can be kept discreet?”

Lexi’s direct question didn’t faze the man and he stared right back at her.

“Yes Ma’am. I only have my client’s best interests at heart.”

Michael looked up hearing the discussion and walked over,

“Bill this is my um…ah this is Dr. Garcia. We have known each other many, many years. I told you earlier I was coming to see a friend and well…she and her, our daughter are that and more, much MUCH more.”

Bill nodded slightly, “I understand Sir.”

“Bill, I have a place out back if you would like to make yourself comfortable.”

“Lexi, that won’t be necessary. We already discussed it, he has family here in town he is going over there until I call.”

Turning quickly Lexi walked back toward the kitchen,

“That’s fine, we won’t be long anyway.”

Michael grimaced slightly at Bill and whispered that he would call him by cell when he was ready to leave and the bodyguard was gone.

The awkward silence as they waited on him to join them at the table made him uncomfortable but ‘lannah’s smiling face gave him a bit of courage as he joined their hands and said grace over their meal before Lexi could change her mind and ask him to leave.

 

______________________________________

 

Michael and Alannah read a few chapters out of Harry Potter and discussed what might happen in the next book and the talked about the new Christmas tree before she fell asleep. He dreaded going to the guest room, it was something he had never done with Lexi and he would rather just stay up or head back to Las Vegas and see the kids for breakfast. Lexi hadn’t said much to him either, she just asked that he spend time with ‘lannah. The holidays were days away and he would be in Las Vegas, and she would be with her Mother and the rest of the family. Finally he decided to just get up and made his way to pour a glass of wine, only to find Lexi sitting alone on the couch.

“I thought you went to bed?”

“I couldn’t sleep, I just..” Her voice trailed off as she looked away from him.

“Do you mind?” He asked as he lifted the open bottle off of the bar.

“No…of course not.”

Michael brought the bottle over and refreshed her glass before he joined her on the couch.

“ ‘lannah looks great Lex.”

Lexi just looked at him, her sadness had been locked up for so long that she was scared to let it out.

“You look great too.”

She started to get up, but he put his hand on her leg.

“Don’t leave…I didn’t mean it like that.”

Her eyes were large and hinted at tears.

“Please Michael” she whispered “I’m not strong enough for your bullshit anymore.”

He leaned closer, and reached for a strand of her hair.

“You are the strongest person I know Babe.”

She reached up and moved his hand but he quickly caught her fingers before she could reject him.

“We have to talk about this Alexis…please don’t throw away everything we have.”

He saw her eyes harden and she took a long drink off of her glass before she answered.

“Michael” she paused and looked at her hand that appeared so tiny resting in his, “I..I didn’t throw anything away. I went to London fully aware of you and your um, your….relationship.”

Michael sighed, uncomfortable discussing Saadiya or anything about her with Lexi.

“I..I don’t think that…”

Interrupting Lexi continued on, “You know, all these years..all these years you have had your affairs or slips ups or whatever it is you call them.  I have been there through so much, I’ve loved you for most of my life it seems. I know I will love you forever Michael. I know how tonight will end…I know it and you know it. You knew when you drove here from wherever it is you came from.

Interjecting softly he whispered, “Las Vegas.”

“Las Vegas?”

“Yeah.”

“You would have brought the kids if you wanted to just talk to me.”

He just looked at her, his big eyes wide and guilty.

“Are you in love with her Michael?”

Taken aback he dropped her hand and took a long drink off of the wine.

“Umm, Lex, I…I We we don’t need to talk about it..her.”

“I do, I need to know. I want to know if you, if you love her Michael.”

Picking up the bottle he went to pour more wine in his glass but reconsidered as he pondered the lingering question.

“Um, do you have anything stronger?”

Lexi rose to her feet, “I’ll make you a martini, I just bought some Grey Goose for the holidays.”

As he waited on her he stood in front of the Christmas tree, so many of the decorations bringing back memories of happy times together, yet the others meant nothing. He didn’t know anything about them and it disturbed him, after all their years together shouldn’t something as simple as a family…his families Christmas tree bring him more joy than any other. He realized how close he was to losing it all and he knew he had to mend the terrible rift he caused in Ireland.

His voice was soft when he spoke,

“I do have feelings for her.”

He heard the stirring of his drink suddenly stop and the silence that came after crushed him. Finally he turned around to find her standing behind the bar with silent tears flowing down her cheeks.

“Alexis…Lex, Babe?”

She left his drink on the bar and walked back towards her bedroom. The pain evident on her face. Taking his drink as he followed her down the hallway, stepping in to the bedroom just as she closed the bathroom door. The first thing he noticed was the oxygen equipment and IV pole beside the bed, he quickly took it in but wanted to catch her before it was too late.

Moving to the bathroom he didn’t even bother to knock hoping she hadn’t had time to lock the door. The knob was moving as he twisted it in his hand and he was able to open the door just as she tried to lock him out.

“Don’t…Alexis, please you asked me and I want to…to tell you everything. Honestly, I could lie – make stuff up, but you..you know you and god you and ‘lannah mean too much to me.”

Her face was red and mascara streaked her cheeks. Automatically she shook her head back and forth willing the hurt away.

“I, I shouldn’t have asked…it was stupid. Please just go now. Leave us alone.”

Michael drained the martini and set the glass on the counter. Feeling the courage from it run through his veins he gathered her up in his arms.

“Dammit, I said I had feelings for her. I didn’t say I was in love with her.”

Pulling her close her body melded against his,

“I told her, Baby I told her I was coming home to you and I didn’t want to see her again. I told her how much I loved you and that I always have and that I always will.”

Their eyes met and for a brief moment she saw his sincerity, she saw the feelings of love reflecting back at her…feelings that she had longed to see for so long.

“Forgive me for what I did Alexis..I didn’t mean to hurt you. I was a fool that night for acting like that. I could never, ever hate you. Sometime I just get scared Baby.”

Trying to catch her breath Lexi placed her head against his chest,

“So do I Michael…so do I. That’s what happened with your brother.”

Stepping back, Michael held her hands,

“Let’s go sit down and talk about this..Ok?”

He was really trying to remain calm, this was the part he was dreading. He knew his Mother had sent Jackie to convince Lexi to get him to come back home. However, he just wasn’t sure if his brother had seen an opportunity to use it to his advantage. He loved his brother but he also noticed the times he had spent with Lexi during the years. Too much time as far as he was concerned.

Lexi knew as soon as she sat down on the bed it was over. Who was she kidding, she knew as soon as she had smelled his cologne earlier that evening it was over. There was no way he was leaving her house without them ending up exactly where they finally were, the bed. Michael’s eyes didn’t stop looking around and she did her best to try to get a hold of her emotions but she knew what was coming and she was scared. How did she tell him, how do you break that kind of news to the person you love most in the world.

“So you got a new bed?”

Looking up at the headboard, she nodded,

“Yeah, everything is new…well new to you I guess. I’ve had it for a while now.”

Smiling Michael pulled on the tie of her halter top,

“I know…I just kind of liked that broken headboard girl. I mean we did that when we made ‘lannah, its special.”

Michael pulled the tie loose and they both looked down and then back in each other’s eyes knowingly before Lexi finally replied,

“I put it in the guest room, I didn’t get rid of it. I liked it to.”

Michael’s smile made her stomach flip and they sat quietly again until he finally spoke.

“Lex….um what is going on with all the stuff in here. I’m uh….I’m kind of freakin out about all of it ya know.”

Her sigh was long and drawn out it seemed as she looked around,

“I guess I don’t really notice it anymore. I..um I uh, Michael that is part of what was going on with your brother.”

His hand began to lightly trace over her knuckles as she leaned back on the bed.

“Ok, I’m listening.”

“Well you know he got divorced.”

Michael nodded and nervously bit the inside of his cheek,

“Yeah…that’s what I was told.”

“So I guess your Mother, well you know she really missed you and you were not giving her the answers she wanted about coming back here. So she thought maybe I could help convince you.”

His hand began to move up the inside of her arm

“And so is this when Grace told you about um….”

“Yes, when she came back on your errands. She came over here one night”, her voice began to break again but she took a deep breath and continued on, “She came here one night and told me about you being with this other woman and that you seemed to be falling in love with her.”

Michael turned Lexi’s face to his,

“She had no right to do that. It’s none of her business.”

“I’m glad she did…because I wasn’t going to come over to see you until I found out.”

He watched as her lip quivered and his thumb ran over it lightly. When he spoke his voice came out in a harsh whisper.

“So why Jackie…revenge?”

Again tears spilled and he waited expectantly as she gathered herself to tell him,

“No…it was nothing like that Michael.”

“Then why? WHY? Why sleep with my brother?”

Her tears finally hit his hand as he held her steady,

“I told you I didn’t sleep with him. He kissed me once, it..it just happened. I got some bad news and I was crying. Dammit just like right now.”

Wiping her face she continued on.  “He had just signed his divorce papers and I had just hung up the phone…Michael he…we, it was just a hug and it just happened accidently. One time. We both know it can’t ever happen again.”

“I don’t think it was an accident Alexis”

“Michael, please….I’m trying to tell you.”

Clearly frustrated, he stood putting his hands on his hips waiting for her to finish.

“I…Michael I. You know you hardly asked, you hardly asked how I was doing the whole time you were gone. Even on the plane that day, that day when you thought I was using morphine again. Michael you didn’t ask.”

Rubbing the bridge of his nose because he was getting annoyed at her he spit out,

“OK so I’m asking now. How are you doing Alexis?”

Her eyes turned slowly up to him and she blinked before replying.

“I’m going to need a transplant Michael…” Her voice trailed off for a moment before she muttered “…anyway that’s what happened.”

He stood staring at her, as if the news had to sink in. Lexi finally looked away, wiping her face with the back of her hands.

“Let me get this straight, the doctors told you that you have to have a lung transplant?”

His eyes were boring through her and she just nodded slightly.

Reaching down he turned her face up to look at him,

“Is this because of New York?”

Again she barely nodded. His reaction was slow. A deep breath, a hand over his eyes..the clench of his jaw. Her eyes were downcast, staring at the carpet when he finally knelt in front of her.

“When…how long, tell me what is wrong?”

His fingers intertwined with hers as she finally glanced up, a terrified look on her face.

“I’m scared Michael.”

Finally she allowed him to embrace her fully as he moved up to the bed to join her.

“I’m home now…let me help. Just lean on me.”

“It…it’s too much Michael. You can’t help this time.”

His lips found that special place behind her ear,

“I’ll never forsake you Alexis…I promise.”

Turning to find his mouth she whispered back,

“Just take care of our babies, that’s all I ask. If something happens take care of them.”

His hand slid underneath her top as he laid her back on the bed,

“They’ll be fine…we will all be fine Babe.”

Her eyes closed as he touched her. She wondered for a moment why she had dreaded this moment when he had first arrived, when she knew deep inside that she had longed for him since she left Ireland.

“I need you Michael, I really need you.”

Michael realized that she had never said that to him before and it broke his heart to know that she was scared.

“Don’t worry…I got you.”

His gentle voice in her ear was comforting and she moved into the solace of his arms. He also understood that what she needed most was his compassion, and as much as he wanted to make love to her… he chose to hold her close until she fell asleep.

_________________________________

The house was dark when she woke up, his pillow next to her held the lingering hint of his cologne. Moving to the bathroom, she freshened up and brushed her teeth before she saw the bedside clock reading 3:30 AM. Quickly using her inhaler she steadied her breathing before leaving the bedroom.

Making her way to the kitchen, Lexi saw the telltale flicker of the television glowing in the living room as Michael sat watching the muted actions of an old Fred Astaire movie play across the screen.

“Can’t sleep?”

The hint of a smile played at the corners of his mouth before he answered,

“No, but I found this great movie I haven’t seen in years. Bill is on the way though….I want to be back in Vegas for breakfast.”

He thought he saw disappointment, but he wasn’t sure.

“How long till he gets here?”

“Oh probably 30-40 minutes. Traffic is light…ya know.”

Lexi pulled her robe tighter, the white silk clinging even closer to her curves.

“Um..you should…”

Michael heard the tone in her voice and looked from the movie to Lexi,

“You Ok girl?”

Reaching down she picked up the remote control and turned off the television leaving the house in the dark.

“What’s going on Lex?”

In the next instance he felt her next to him, smelled her perfume in his nostrils.

“I want to be with you…”

Her lips found his

“Make love to me Michael.”

Pulling her close, Michael moaned softly.

“Babe…are you sure…I…mmmmm”

The robe slid off of her shoulders exposing her naked breasts to his hands.

Holding his face as his lips claimed them, Lexi sighed and pulled him closer.

Sucking gently, Michael stoked the flames of desire they both had been fighting all night. Moans and sighs passed between them as clothing began to be shed in earnest. When Lexi slid to the floor, Michael helped her pull his hardening shaft from his jeans. The moment her warm mouth wrapped around him he pushed up, and stroked the back of her hair. Consciously urging her on, knowing how soon he would be exploding in ecstasy.

His voice was a quiet whisper in the dark,

“That feels so good girl…I love how you do it like that.”

Looking up, Lexi could see he was watching her so she let the tip slide around her lips.

His voice became strained and he pulled slightly on her hair,

“So hot…god.”

As she plunged back down, she moaned and sucked hard as she drew all the way back out. Michael was near the breaking point. His eyes half closed as he neared completion.
“Geh…get up here…fuh”

He pulled her up and his hands grasped her hips as she settled over his lap. Lexi positioned him at her entrance and slowly eased him inside.
“Ahhhhh….Mmmmm.”

Her cry was muffled as she fell forward momentarily on his shoulder. However, Michael couldn’t wait. His famous hips began to thrust and grind as he moved with her.

“C’mon Lex…come for me.”

Michael stared into her eyes as they found their groove. He could feel the silk of the robe as he grabbed her ass and pulled her close, causing the fullness of her breasts to push against his chest. His heart swelled with emotions as he held her and felt his peak drawing near.

“I’m coming…fuck.”

With a final stroke he came, her reaction soon followed and she collapsed against him. Her breathing labored and shallow, something that was not lost on him given the circumstances of the evening. When she finally lifted her head she saw the tears that filled his eyes.

“Michael?”

“I, I…Lex I.”

Wiping his face she asked,

“Babe, are you alright?”

After giving her a long, gentle kiss he finally answered,

“I just love you so much, I just want you to know that…no matter what.”

She stared at him for a long moment, not wanting to say the wrong thing before replying,

“Right now, at this moment…I do know it Michael. I really do.”

Headlights flashed across the drapes and signaled that Bill had arrived to pick up him up and the moment was over. But as he made the journey back to Las Vegas he quietly thought about the frightening image of not having her in his life and he was scared too. What would he do without her….

 

To Be Continued…..

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