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Heart of the Matter V

Heart of the Matter V

June 14, 2005

Summer/Fall 2005

bahrain bae


The Ranch had long since quieted. The events of the day winding down with more of a shudder then a joyous celebration. Michael’s parents had left around sunset, eager to leave the confines of the gates of Neverland that had been their home for the past four months. The children understood that something good had happened, especially with the long hug their Father had given them when he got back from his “meeting” earlier. Lexi was still on the mend from her hospitalization, and gave Michael his space. She went to bed early after a quick dinner with his parents and siblings, tired from the high tension and drama of the day.


Michael opened his third bottle of Merlot. Spilling a bit on the front of his ubiquitous white t–shirt as he did so. The blue pill he had taken earlier was beginning to take effect and the warmth of the wine felt good throughout his body. Picking up the remote for the DVD player he fast forwarded the video searching for his favorite part of the movie. Ensuring it was on mute, he watched as the girl on the screen moved to a bed. It wasn’t long before she was joined by a man who began to remove her clothing. Michael sipped on the wine as the girl glanced up at the camera just as she moved down on the man on the screen. The minutes ticked by as he watched the silent action on the television and finished his glass.


The pill was surging through his body now and he ejected the DVD from the player, as he remembered Lexi’s words to hide it in the secret place under the piano bench. Stumbling, he moved the bench and pulled the rug and wood flooring aside and placed the movie in the hiding place they had made for themselves. It was just a small safe built into the floor; but hidden from intruders, children, and anyone else looking to invade their privacy.

He felt overheated as he opened the bedroom door, a flush to his skin. Drunk definitely, but something else too. Yes the pill was definitely working…

Michael caught sight of her standing atop the window seat staring out into the night.

Slurring as he shuffled up behind her, Michael said,

“I didn’t know you were up?”

Lexi spoke softly, never turning around to acknowledge his presence.

“About an hour…I didn’t want to disturb you.”

Michael stared up at her, catching a wisp of her silk gown in his hand

“The light…lights shining through your nightgown Lex.”.

Her voice was soft as she continued looking out the window,

“I wanted to look at the park, it’s easier to see it from up here.”

Michael staggered slightly before he whispered under his breath, letting her gown drop,

“Reminds me of London…”


Lexi’s voice never changed tone, and she continued to stare longingly out of the window as Michael began to climb up beside her.

“Yeah, one time in London’s all.”

“Oh? It’s cold out tonight. I hope the fans at the gate are ok.”

Michael smiled at Lexi’s concern as he wrapped his arms around her from behind.

“They have their blankets and cars…Mmmm you smell good.”

He buried his face in her neck and began to run his hands along her body.


“What Babe…”

Catching her balance on the pane of the window Lexi spoke,

“Please don’t.”

Michael was kissing her neck and his hand had slid inside her night gown and upon her breast.

“Why? You’re so beautiful in the light.”

Lexi’s breath fogged up the window in front of her as he pulled her nightgown off her shoulders.

“Michael…Babe, please!”

Her voice pleaded with him, even as her body pushed back begging for more.

“Mmmm, you feel so good.”

Michael’s voice was deep with lust as his fingers found her mound.

The fog in front of her face returned as she exhaled,


“See, you want it don’t you.?”

Lexi’s arms raised up higher on the window, forcing her breasts against the glass.

“Baby…Michael, I want you. I just don’t want to stop again.”

She felt him tense, his body shook and then he lost his balance for a moment. The alcohol trying to take over.

“I’m not stopping. Nobody or nothing is ever stopping me again.”

The tone of his voice was controlled, but she could hear the anger.

Pulling away for a brief moment he removed his pajama bottoms.

It was then she felt him, what she hadn’t felt in so many months. Hard and urgent sliding between her freshly waxed lips.

“You’re wet…good.”

He stated matter of fact as he slid his head back and forth along her moist flesh.

Her cheek was now pressed firmly against the window pane and its chill competed with the fever he was giving her down below.

Finally he pushed inside, groaning as they connected.

Lexi shook, the feeling of his girth and length after so long, unexpected yet pleasurable.

“Mi..Mich…Michael, uh…babe”

She fought to catch her breath as he pressed up and inside her and for an instant she was afraid the window might break and they could crash to the ground below. But somehow everything but their connection faded away and she let herself go.

Melting back into his arms she let him take her, and take her away.

“I wanted you so bad Lex, you feel so fucking good right now.”

Michael’s words in her ear as he stroked her relentlessly drove her wild.

“Damn Michael….damn.”

Lexi was on fire.

Suddenly he dropped them both down to the seat they had been standing on. Lexi lustily moved between his legs and took him down her throat. Michael thought briefly about the porn he had just watched and swiveled his hips as she sucked. Her lips felt amazing around him, soft..warm, the suction. He could let her do it all night. Hell, watching her was hot enough, no less how great it felt. But he wanted to fuck her. She had waited long enough and he had teased her already…now it was time to really give it to her.

“Lay down! Lay your ass down.”

“Michael pulled Lexi up and gently pushed her on to her back.

“Are you ok?”

He asked as he pushed inside her again.

Lexi looked up, her eyes watering with passion.

“Yeah…um yeah, aye aye babe….ahhh that feels sooo….”

Her head turned and she grabbed on to his arms just as he shifted to his knees pulling her legs around his hips.

Lexi stared up into his eyes. They were intense, like he had something to prove, or say, or someone to be. She let him do it all. Be it all. Say it all. All the angst of the last months came out at once. Channeled into his love making. Hurt, anger, fear, aggression and finally love. Just as they came she saw his eyes soften and he saw her so clearly; the woman he had spent so long denying, depending on, hurting, but ultimately loving. Their eyes locked and everything was silently said as they melded together and in that moment he finally felt totally free.




bahrain 3Lexi stared off into nowhere as one of Michael’s suitcases sat before her only half packed. The slamming of the front door startled her and she turned her head towards Michael as he rushed into the room.

“We got ‘em…Mez got the passports back. We can leave Lex.”

She felt the blood drain out of her head and her stomach turned over with a sickening lurch.

“That…that’s great Babe.”

Michael began to pace, the urgency in his step not missed by Lexi.

“Ok, this stuff…the stuff we are taking, we have to get it packed up. I want to get out of here right away.”

Lexi stood, still holding a package of t-shirts in her hand.

“The kids are done and I almost have your things finished Michael. You should be ready to go by tomorrow night.”

“Oh Ok Lex, that’s great. I can’t wait for us to get out of here. I just have this feeling that we are going to have a brand new life…you know Babe, start over – just the family.”

Smiling, Lexi nodded.

“It’s the best thing for you Michael.”

Michael stopped his pacing momentarily and kissed her on the cheek,

“We will be fine girl, wait till you see where we’re going. It’s great.”

“Michael..I need to te….”

Spinning away suddenly he headed for the door,

“I’m going to check on things, I’ll be back soon.”

The door slammed shut even before she could answer and she returned to his suitcase. Making sure to pack as much of his favorite clothing as possible.



“Daddy says he has to stay here.”

Prince looked sadly at the mouse Lexi had bought for him on one of her trips back from a doctor’s appointment.

Lexi brushed the hair back from his eyes and softly said,

“I’m sorry Prince. They won’t let him go where Daddy needs to stay right now.”

Turning from the cage Prince climbed dejectedly into bed,

“But…but who will take care of him?”

Trying to hold back her own sadness Lexi spoke softly,

“We can find somebody, he will be fine.”

Prince replied,

“I need to know, I can’t leave him alone.”

Lexi pulled up the covers hoping to comfort him,

“Baby, um…can you keep a secret?”

The boy looked up, his eyes red and threatening tears.

“Yes, I keep them good.”

Her eyes flooded over at last as she took him by his small hand.

“I can keep him for you.”

He looked confused and then at last he understood,

“You’re not going with us? Alannah either?”

Lexi nodded her head silently as tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Don’t cry Lexi, he is a nice mouse. I promise he won’t be mean to you.”

Wiping her eyes she smiled,

“I know…I know. He is a great little mouse. I will take good care of him for you.”

Bending down she kissed him on the forehead,

“Remember it’s our secret.”

“Ok, I promise. I won’t even tell Paris.”

Lexi stood to leave,

“Your Daddy will be in later, I have to go and make sure ‘lannah is out of the tub.”

“Goodnight Lexi.”

Switching off the lamp by his bed she turned,

“Goodnig….Uhhhhh Mi Michael I thought you were in the cottage”

Michael was standing in the doorway, arms folded as he leaned on the frame.

“I’ll meet you in a minute, I want to say goodnight to my son.”


“I said I will meet you in a minute.”

Fresh tears sprung to her eyes and she quickly walked past him. Her mind running through a thousand scenarios. How much did he hear? Did it matter? Should she get ‘lannah and leave now?



Bahrain 1The click of the door echoed as Michael walked in the cottage. The atmosphere tense as he stood above her waiting on an answer.

Minutes ticked by before he finally spoke.

“When were you going to tell me?”

Lexie sat motionless, scared to even breathe.

“It’s…It’s because of what happened, isn’t it? You told me we would get through it together Lex. I promised you…dammit I promised you!”

Lexi looked up at him at last, her eyes large and glossy.

“Part of it, you scared me so badly Michael. I still…I still don’t understand it.”

Her mind flashed back to the evening she had come home instead of staying in Los Angeles after some medical tests. The bedroom darkened, the steady beep of a monitor and the sudden excitement of a stranger who jumped to his feet at the same moment she saw Michael, prone on the IV attached to his leg.

She still could feel the tubing under her fingers as she pulled the needle out of its resting place. Fingertips wet with medication and blood as she felt for his pulse. Her anger exploding as she chased the so called Doctor from the room as Michael woke up to the chaos.

“I told you everything. I…I don’t know what else to say to you Alexis.”

Lexi stood and walked to get a tissue,

“I could have killed that man, that..that Doctor who did that to you. Michael if I wouldn’t have still been so sick I might have.”

“I was fine, Babe I just needed to sleep. Everything was so crazy. I hadn’t slept in weeks.”

She didn’t have words, she had said them all to him before. Her steady gaze was enough to make him avert his eyes.

“It’s not the only reason I’m not going. I can’t leave my Doctor’s here Michael. It’s too soon, I’m too….I just can’t go right now is all.”

Michael put his arms around her,

“I can’t stay here, they’ll never stop. I’ll never have any peace. The kids….”

“I know.”

Her sob was buried against his chest as he held her close.

“Lex, I know how much you love Neverland but….”

Looking up she saw her tears reflected in his eyes and she whispered,

“but it’s over?”

“Yes, yeah Babygirl. It’s over I don’t ever want to come back here.”

“I can’t go Michael, I’m sorry…not right now.”

Michael led her over to the loveseat so they could sit together,

“I’m worried about ‘lannah, she is doing so much better.”

“I know, I am too. I am going to ask my Mom to come stay with us.”

He sighed as he took her in his arms,

“What about Junior, maybe he can stay with you?”

Lexi shook her head no,

“He just got out of the Police Academy. I would hate to bother him while he is in field training. He is so focused right now, no that’s not an option.”

“Ok, I just…”

His voice trailed off, he felt defeated and rejected.


Lexi whispered softly,

“You have to leave to survive…

Michael interrupted

“and you have to stay to do the same.”

“Yeah…that’s it”

She answered quietly, a catch in her throat

“I love you Lex, I really do.”

Michael’s eyes found hers as she whispered against his lips,

“I love you too Michael…more than you know.”



It had been some time since Neverland had become her past. Lexi had decided to settle back in Santa Monica. At least the house was filled with memories of Michael, and ‘lannah was comfortable in her surroundings. The mouse settled in and ran quickly on its wheel and brought a strange kind of comfort to her as she tried to find a routine without her whole family near. Alannah was enrolled in camp and came home exhausted from swimming, hiking and exploring every day. But Lexi spent most of her time at the Doctor’s checking her health, in clinic hours at the hospital, or walking on the beach. She missed running, but it took too much of a toll anymore. So her daily walks seemed to help get her out and away from the loneliness of missing Michael.



Bahrain 2Michael started to feel like he was coming back to life. He gained the weight back he had lost during the trial and for the first time in years he didn’t feel like he was on display. The Prince was pushing him for an album but deep in his heart he was tired. He just wanted to raise his kids, and be alone. The whispers of money issues caught his ear on occasion but they always seemed to work themselves out. He talked to Lexi and Alannah in the beginning about 3-4 times a week, but it got more and more infrequent. Sometimes it would be 2 weeks before he managed to make a call. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to them, it just seemed to hurt less to let it go.


Saadiya peered out from behind the curtain at the famous guest who her father had invited for dinner. She secretly watched his videos alone in her bedroom at night lost in a fog of memories. She longed for the days she had spent in Europe, New York or Los Angeles, away from the heavy restrictions of her father and brothers. College had been such fun, her time in California such a distraction before she married. Before she became a widow so young. She had given up on so much, until now.

The heavy footsteps of her father approached and she gently folded her hand painted scarf over her arm.

“Come…come join us for a moment.”

Bahrain dinnerBaadir escorted his daughter back to the formal dining area.

“Mr. Jackson, you have met my sons but now I present to you my daughter, Saadiya.”

Michael rose and bowed slightly as she was presented.

“Pleasure to meet you…Saadiya”

She saw the recognition in his eyes for a brief instant before he looked away. She wondered if he remembered. Was he still embarrassed? Did he still find her attractive? Could he ever want her as much as she wanted him?

“My daughter’s name means flower in our language Michael. She is as perfect as a rose to me.”

Michael stared at the ground suddenly feeling confined in the large room.

“I feel the same way about my daughter too.”

He could feel her dark eyes gazing at him before she turned to join her mother at their table and suddenly he was taken way back in time. Back to a similar dinner in LA, one with too much alcohol, too many pills, his heart broken over Hunter….but the promise of soft red lips upon his.

“Michael, please enjoy your food. We have much to offer.”


He said as he looked around the room,

“Yes, I can see that you do have much to offer.”


To Be Continued……………………………

story end

Filed in: Lexi • Monday, October 13th, 2014


Wow!!! I don’t know what to say.. Another emotional chapter…..How in the world their relationship is going to survive ? Great update!!!!!

Umm one question… In this chapter the little blue pill ? Was that Viagra Michael took ?

LOL, yes!!! Good catch. I love that my readers are so smart.

Glad you liked the update, at least we got through the trial now. Not that the future is all rosy but there is still some fun to be had.

I cannot believe our Michael is taking Viagra… He is usually so virile… But I supposed he endured so much stress that it took a toll on his sexual function… oh dear… I see that he also utilized his porn collection for a little assistance.. oh dear…

The viagra brought some comic relief for me in this emotional chapter. I just never pictured him as needing help in that department. 😀
I wonder if the princess is going to take his mind off Lexi? I hate how his calls home lose their frequency with time. It just makes it easier to stay away.
Thank you for another wonderful chapter. I am so greedy. I want more. LOL

More is coming. Yes Saadiyah the Princess the Royal Family wanted him to check on soooo long ago….Hmmmm. The lost years after Hunter!

Wow that chapter right there was tough. So much emotion. Can’t wait for the next one. Continue please.

Yes yes yes! More more more please(-:

By Shaylovesmj on October 26th, 2014 at 10:10 pm

Yeeessss boo!. . . . . .
I missed Mike and Lexi …
Lol. Funny. I was listening to Selena’s “Bidi Bidi Bom Bom” and then I thought about jennifer lopez in the movie and I was thinking …Yo let me go see whats up with Lexi and Mike. 😀
For some reason when I watch that movie “Selena” I think of lexi. I picture lexi looks like J.lo (as selena) …if that even makes sense LOL!

But anyway …The chapter was so sad ..I hate when Mike and lexi have to be so far apart from each other
I hope they get togther again soon.

Also I think the part with lexi, and prince was so cute. 🙂

Thank you soo much for the new chapter boo.
I know you don’t always have the time but …lol. thank you for finding some time..Blah blah blah whatever ..Girl I had a little bit to much toninght. LOL!
Hope I made some sense….

Shay Shay…LMAO Your comment made my day. You know i love me some Selenas…the real one and the movie. So i take that as a great compliment that Lex could be anything like herssss. LOL

It wont be long and another chapter will be up and ready for yall.


By Shaylovesmj on October 28th, 2014 at 12:00 am

LOL! Okay boo
Can’t wait!


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