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Heart of the Matter II

Heart of the Matter II

January 16, 2004

(If you love Mike and Lexi…make sure you read/listen to the song that he sings to her in this chapter…alot of you will already know it, but the lyrics fit them so perfectly right now, at least I think)


“It came out really good”

Lexi handed the toy back to Michael and started brushing her hair again.

“Yeah it did huh, I’m happy he was able to fix it for her.”

Michael checked the seam of the stuffed duck one last time before setting it down beside him on the chair, then took the opportunity to watch Lexi for a brief moment. The two months since she had returned home had healed her body but her mind was still on the mend. Her fear still gripped her at the most intimate of times and Michael had learned to be patient…even though he longed to become one with her again.

“Do you think I should talk to the counselor before we give it back to ‘lannah?”

Staring at the curve of her ass in her jeans he hadn’t heard her question.

“Should we?”

Lexi turned and caught his eyes before he quickly averted them away from her gaze.

“I’m sorry; did you say something to me Lex?”

“Yeah, should I talk to ‘lannah’s counselor before we give her back the duck?”

Michael ran his hands down the front of his jeans before standing up,

“Sure if you think we need to girl. I don’t want to upset her.”

“Well, it was a big deal, you know if she wouldn’t have hidden my ID and money inside of it all those months we couldn’t have gotten back across the border and up here to The Ranch.”

“I know, it’s crazy that at seven years old thought to do that.”

Picking up his hat, Michael turned to Lexi before continuing,

“I guess all the times you went back and forth across that border she was paying attention.”

Lexi handed him his jacket,

“Yeah, and she is a Jackson so you know she was going to make sure we had money too.”

Laughing together, Michael hugged Lexi before heading for the door,

“OK, I’m gonna go check on Joseph and the kids. You wanna go?”

He already knew her answer but asked anyway,

“I will come over and kiss the kids in a little while. Where is your Father sleeping tonight?”

“In town with Jermaine, you’re good. I’ll call you for dinner.”

Nodding to him as he walked out of the door, Lexi sat down in the chair picking up the duck, absently mindedly stroking the now soft clean material that Bush had fixed for them. But still all the while she worried over Michael’s impending arraignment in the morning.


Michael was nervous, the reality of the morning ahead sinking in with a crushing finality that couldn’t be denied. Shuffling through his CDs he picked some favorites and slid them in the carousel, adjusting the volume so as not to wake Lexi.

The cottage was quiet, with the kids including ‘lannah sleeping back in the main house. His oldest child was snuggling once again with her duck. Michael and Lexi had mistakenly left it carelessly on the chair and she joyfully hugged it tight and never let go after she found it.

Remembering the happy smile on her face filled his heart, even as he sat futily trying to read over the notes on his case. After thirty futile minutes he gave up and relented to sitting in the dark, with only the flames of the fireplace illuminating the room. Luther Vandross’s “Wait for Love” began to play over the stereo and Michael’s mind wandered back to meeting Hunter on the train. Closing his eyes as the lyrics washed over him he tried to remember the sound of her voice, the smell of her skin after a shower, but all he could feel was the wave of emptiness that came with the effort. Removing his glasses, he wiped tears from his eyes only to open them and find Lexi watching him from the entryway to the bedroom.

“Are you all right Michael?”

He nodded, the movement being barely perceptible to Lexi in the darkened room.

“Do you care if I join you?
“ that’s good. Come here girl.”

Lexi joined him, lying down on his lap.

“I’m nervous too Michael, let me come with you this morning. Don’t you think it will be fine.”

“Oh god, Lex…it’s gonna be crazy, and you know there will be all kinds of questions if you go. Stay here with the kids; they need you more than me right now.”

He could hear her sigh and saw the tears threatening her eyes.

“They aren’t going to keep you are they?”

“No, Mark says I will be home, so we are planning the party and everything.”

They both sat quietly, listening as Luther’s voice faded away and Lexi finally spoke.

“Let me testify, I want to tell them what life around you is really like Michael. Let me tell the world about us, about our family, our babies…everything. Don’t you think this is the time?”

Pulling her up and to him, Michael grasped her tightly,

“That scares me Lex that scares me so bad.”

“It’s not as bad as losing you forever Michael. What would I do…what would we do?”

Burying his face in her hair Michael tried to keep it together,

“Girl, we have both lost people precious to us. Even if the worst happens I won’t be gone…not like that.”

“I don’t care; I won’t let it happen to you Michael. I’ll go to the press, I swear to you I will.”

Standing up Michael brushed her cheek lightly,

“Mark is good; you know he is a good lawyer. He won’t let that happen.”

He could see her defiance in her silhouette as she stood and moved to in front of the fire,

“I don’t trust him. He took this other case…that guy killed his wife and unborn baby. Peterson he did it, it makes me sick. How can he defend someone like that? I don’t want you associated with someone who would protect somebody like him.”

Her voice shook with anxiety and fear,

“I went through that and so did your daughter. I find it crazy that now your lawyer is defending it.”

Taking a long, deep breath Michael came to her side.

“I know…believe me, I bothers me too. But he says he can honestly defend him.”

“Damn it, I want to help you Michael.”

“I know you do, but the best way you can do that is by concentrating on getting healthy.”

“I am, I already feel better. The antibiotic IVs are helping and so are the new breathing treatments.”

“Yeah I can tell. Baby, gah…you don’t have to be a hero anymore. Not for me or anyone else. That’s how you got sick, running into those towers and working all that time…its crazy that it gave you this cough or whatever.”

“There are people sicker than me, or the ones who didn’t make it.”

His lips grazed her forehead,

“I know babe, I know.”

Yet again the music shifted on the stereo and as the piano riff swirled around them Michael clasped her hand,

“Dance with me.”


Pulling her close he felt the warmth of her body against his and he sang softly along

I’ve been so many places in my life and time
I’ve sung a lot of songs, and I’ve made some bad rhymes
I’ve acted out my life in stages, with ten thousand people watching
But we’re alone now, and I’m singing this song to you.


…..Lexi felt her heart begin to beat faster as Michael spoke to her through the song


I know your image of me is what i hope to be
I treated you unkindly, but darling can’t you see
There’s no one more important to me, baby, can’t you see through me
Cuz we’re alone now, and I’m singing this song to you


…..She struggled to hold back her tears, something about the way he was holding her..singing to her. He meant every word



You taught me precious secrets of a true love withholding nothing
You came out in front when i was hidin
But now I’m so much better
And if my words don’t some together
Listen to the melody, cuz my love is in there hiding


…”Listen Alexis, listen to what I’m gonna sing to you right now.” Michael whispered in between the verse
I love you in a place, where there’s no space or time
I love you for my life, you’re a friend of mine
And when my life is over, remember when we we’re together
We we’re alone and i was singing this to you.

….”I love you so much girl, I love you…don’t ever forget, no matter what happens.”


I love you in a place, where there’s no space or time
I love you for my life, you’re a friend of mine
And when my life is over, remember when we we’re together
We we’re alone and i was singing this to you.


We we’re alone and I was singing this song to you
We we’re alone and I was singing this song to you
We we’re alone and i was singing this song to you…


Michael opened his eyes and looked onto Lexi’s tear streaked face.

“I love you so much too Michael. No…nobody has ever had my heart like you do.”


His lips met hers, the salty taste of their tears mingling as they both felt the spark of passion alight.

“You still have mine too Alexis…”

“I do…really?”

“Mmm hmm…”

His words were lost as he buried his face against her neck, his hands entwining in her hair. Lexi stumbled backward, dizzy from emotion and overcome with the intensity of the moment.

She felt the hardness of a table press into her leg preventing her fall just as Michael’s lips found hers. She didn’t have time to think about being anxious, because it finally felt so natural to be in that place and back in his arms.

‘Don’t be scared Alexis…”

Michael felt her body relax into his, just as he lifted her onto the dining table.

“I dont want to Michael…I know I’m right where I’m supposed to be.”

The deep breath that he took after she spoke was one of relief and happiness and he blindly reached out and swept the table clean of its contents while lying her down underneath him.

A flower arrangement and a plate left over from dessert crashed to the floor causing Lexi to momentarily flashback to a time long before…when Michael had pushed her onto a table in a fit of fury and passion.

The recognition flashed in his eyes as well,

“That’s not me, Baby I left all that behind. I would never do you like that now.”

Lexi brushed the hair out of his eyes…

“I know, I know. Come here…stop all this talking…love me Michael, love me.”

Once again their lips met, both of them moaning with desire as tongues twisted and turned, fueling the passion that had sparked so suddenly.

Lexi’s back arched up, causing the robe she was wearing to fall away and expose her body to his hands.

Michael explored it with his lips, down the pulsing artery of her neck and over to the hardened bud of her nipple.

“Aye…más bebé más” Lexi moaned as his teeth tugged on her tender skin again.

“Babe…” Michael’s voice whispered as he gathered her breasts in his hands, massaging them gently while flicking the tip of his tongue over each nipple.

Nails dug deep in his arms as he moved lower; caressing her stomach with tender touches until he finally stopped and gently pushed her knees apart.

He felt her shaking, her fear beginning to overtake the desire she was feeling. Looking up at her face he saw her brow knit together in frustration, as if she was fighting her own private battle with the demons the months away had brought to her life.

“Alexis, we can stop, we don’t have to…”

“No, Michael…I want you, so much. I want to be with you. Please…”

“But Lex…”

“Not again…we’ve stopped too many times. I want you, and I want to make love to you…again.”

Now it was Michael’s time to be nervous, he felt his stomach flip as Lexi took his hand and placed it over her growing wetness.

“Lex…I want to make love to you too.”

She felt like all the oxygen was drawn out of the room as his mouth connected with her body. All the fear, all the anxiety finally faded away as he slowly swirled his lips and tongue gently along her swelling sex.

“Mmm girl you taste so sweet.”

Lexi’s breathing was rapid, her hips grinding uncontrollably,

“Michael, oh god…I forgot how you make me feel so, uh oh…gah”

Michael ached to connect with her. He had since the night she had finally come home but he had waited knowing that she had to mentally and physically ready herself for the experience. But now she seemed to want him, to welcome the advances that he had to halt so many times before.

Standing up he stripped himself of his pajamas, all the while watching her as she lay on the table in front of him. She flinched under his gaze and started to draw her robe back across herself.

Catching her hand, Michael pulled the material back.

“You’re beautiful, you have always been beautiful…let me look at you Alexis. Let me look at you. I want to watch you in the firelight.”

He was surprised when she reached for him and tentatively began to stroke his hardened shaft.

“I’m ready, I know I am.”

His eyes closed and he bit his bottom lip while she moved with more confidence up and down, faster and faster. She heard the whimper that escaped his throat right before he stepped forward, ending her movement. Moving her open he pushed himself against her entrance. They both gasped the anticipation of the moment almost as intense as the instant he slipped inside her body again after so long.


Lexi’s exclamation stopped him before he could continue his deep slide back and forth.

“Should we stop…do you want me to stop?”

Her eyes flashed open, filled with tears and Michael felt his heart sink. He finally had been able to feel her after all this time and again the fear had taken over.

Leaning over he kissed her softly preparing to pull out and walk it off, but he felt her squeeze him tightly working him internally with her muscles. Then her legs wrapped around his hips pulling him tightly to her body.

“No…no baby don’t you dare stop. I’m so happy right now and it feels so right.”

Burying his face in her chest, Michael took a deep breath before standing. Slowly he pushed his hips into Lexi. In and out, in and out, in and out…gradually getting faster and faster while she pushed against his movement. Soon Lexi had risen up off of the table and Michael was supporting her in his arms, thrust after thrust he ground into her,

“I’m gonna come Lex.”

Michael grimaced as he felt himself tighten

“I’m coming, Mmm I’m com ahhh…”

Lexi ground down on his shaft crying out as her swollen sex connected over and over. It wasn’t long before the burning familiarity began for her too. Spasms shook her once, twice, then a third time as she cried out for him.

“Yeah, Michael oh my god”


It was silent except for her occasional coughing spell as they lay beside the fire, winding down from their lovemaking.

Michael finally spoke,

“Are you OK girl?”

Lexi reached up and stroked his face,

“Yeah I am fine, no…no I’m great.”

“I was hoping you wasn’t gonna get scared again.”

“I did.”

“You did? I told you we could stop. Why didn’t you let me stop?”

Rolling over she sat astride him, untying her robe again before speaking.

“Because I’m tired of being afraid.”

She brought his hands up to her breasts and tossed her head back slightly,

“Because I’m tired of letting that monster control my life.”

Reaching under the blanket she started to stroke him again,

“Because after thinking about it, I want to take every second we have been given and celebrate our time together.”

…and with that she slowly slid down and took him between her lips, making it clear that she was conquering her intimacy issues head on.


The Judge’s admonishment for being late to his arraignment was still fresh in his mind as he stepped out into the bright sunshine of the day. The slight smile he had was because he knew the reason he had been late was due to the fact he had been wrapped around Lexi and couldn’t bear to leave her regardless of the punishment.

 The cheers of the fans were uplifting and he directed security to hand out invitations to some of the most devoted of them to the party later at The Ranch. He also wanted to thank the many supporters who had traveled such a long way, so Michael jumped onto the roof of the Escalade to wave to them all; flashing some of his famous dance moves while he was at it, something he had done a hundred times before. The press took their pictures and rolled their tape. His display only lasted a moment and he was on the way home trusting that his name would soon be cleared.

Little did he realize…it had only just begun.



To Be Continued


Please Rate This Chapter Below



Filed in: Lexi • Monday, February 20th, 2012


By Forever Michael on February 20th, 2012 at 9:46 pm

OH I cant help but be nervous at the pending chapters I know we are about to endure…:(.

But on a bright note.. I am so happy for Lexi taking charge of her situation.. And I am so glad that they have become the one that they should always be..:)

Love the update.. You are AWESOme like always…. Cant wait for more..

Thanks girl.

I promise it wont be too bad and some things will come together as well.

Thanks for sticking around while I get it all sorted. Mwah

Donny Hathaway’s version of A Song for You is hands down, the best ever. No contest. I really wish Michael would have done this one because he could have taken it into the stratosphere…I can hear him humming and singing it softly as I read your story.

I’m so happy to see Lexi and Michael reunited, emotionally, physically, spiritually…completely. They are so much better equipped to collectively face their fears with courage and strength if they are working as a team!

This point in history is sooo tough to relive….I wish I could have personally scooped Michael up and whisked him away from all that pain. If somebody could have truly done this, I believe he would still be here now. I’ll be really interested to see you handle this time period in your future installments.

Yay, I was chekn by chance…imagine my surprise & excitement to see the new chapter!!!!

Brilliant, as usual! Girl, you rock!!! I’m with everyone else on the upcoming “saga.” So hard to relive, I can’t imagine being the writer, how u must feel. But, I’m here with you girl, every step of the way. Totally, helplessly devoted to this site!!! Thanks for sharing your gift with us!

Cinbad: Isnt Donny’s version of a “A Song for You” just the best!!! I have just had the vision of Michael singing this to Lexi in my head for so long…you know after all the BS and they finally realize that its just them (against the world), he gets that SHE is the ONE thats always been there.

kikib: I think the next couple of chapters will be interesting. Kinda like day and night literally. What Michael is dealing with in court and then how oddly peaceful things are at The Ranch (at least on the surface)

Happy, happy, really happy!!

I love the sweetness of Michael, and also the courage to Lexy.

I love your writing.

A big hug.

This was great. So good to see Lexi and Michael mature into a loving couple, finally, phew!
I agree with someone else here who said I applaud you for taking on this period of his life and I am looking forward to seeing how you handle it…take your time…believe me I understand about real life sometimes sapping your creative energies and plus writing about him is so emotional anyways.
I can say for all I am sure that we will be here when u are ready.
I must tell you..sometimes reading your story I was ready to give up…Michael could be such a prick, LOL! And I will honestly say I am not sure if I agreed with your treatment of him 100% all the time…but it’s your interpretation and you must stick to what you believe and how you envision it to come out…and I love the way you write – your love scenes are always so raw and real…
And Donny Hathaway…wow, I love him and I love this version of the song…he is another tortured soul that is missed…so happy to have you back kiddo, and good job!

FINALLY!!!!!! 😀
I’m sooooo happy!

all i can say is WOW!!!

Lexi has come back to him – completely – at a time when he needs her most. That has got to take some of the edge off the upcoming trial. At least he will have her love to soothe away his frustrations and worries.

What a smart little cookie that ‘Lannah is, for hiding Lexi’s ID in the duck. I take it that ‘Lannah ripped it open on purpose.

Thank you for this wonderful update. I am now stealing myself for the upcoming chapters.

Yeah Lexi will have to put aside her problems and step up to the plate now. She cant allow her new found fears, anxiety, insecurities, or jealosy to interfere with her support of Michael or keeping the lives of their family comfortable and happy at The Ranch.

Can she do it or buckle under the pressure?

Mmmm hmm, ‘lannah is a smart one! She sees what goes on around her and in Mexico realized they were in trouble. Knowing the toy was an innocent place to hide the ID and money she kept it close and waited until the moment came for them to run.

Up next, we will go visit The Salesman again. So you can breathe easy for a bit longer.



I wanted to make a seperate post for you because this intrigued me.

“I must tell you..sometimes reading your story I was ready to give up…Michael could be such a prick, LOL! And I will honestly say I am not sure if I agreed with your treatment of him 100% all the time”

Thanks for sharing, in my defense…I have really tried to envision his personality perhaps not entirely as he truly was (because I only know what I have researched, although I have tried to get close as I can imagine) but at least as a multi-dimensional human. Over the course of the story he has evolved and been through so much that I cant see, as any normal person would be, him staying in the same mind set through the years.

From good to angry, to Bad, to sad, to scared, to remorseful and all the rest I hope to just convey a bit of it.

When I first started I said I wanted to, in my mind…find out why that beautiful sparkle faded from his eyes. I dunno…after all this time of writing this, I know it sounds rediculous but I now know…and it makes me sad.

I am so glad he had his children, the true loves of his life.

Also, its Lexi’s story now as well. A story about a everyday girl who is faced with the extroidinary task of loving and being loved by the biggest star on the planet. It cant be easy. How do you have your own identity and live in their shadow too?

Will it make her or break her in the end?

I think most of your above post would lend itself nicely to the liner notes on a book jacket once you get this bad boy published.

As for the children, I think Michael would have left this earth long ago if it weren’t for PPB. They were his salvation and his strength.

That really means alot to me Cinbad. More than you will ever realize. Thank you.

Yayyyyyyyyyyyy…..another chapter!!! Woooohooooo! I came here just for the heck of it…lol…without knowing that you’ve already updated! HAPPY HAPPY! Once again you made my day (like so often, girl!)…and it was a very nice and beautiful chapter, seeing those two lovers being together again! Soooo wonderful! And that song…I love it! I know all the versions of that songs (except this one…and this one is awesome, too!); and I swear: the first thought in my head: this could be a song Michael would sing to his lover (Lexi)….and when I saw it here I was soooo shocked (in a good way!)…

And their love making was sooo hot and ummmmmm….yuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!!!!!!!!! ANd oh god, I remember very very well, how Michael took her on that table long ago (that was one of those chapter I rerererererererreread like for the 10000000ths times (I know exactly how the story is, each and every scene!)! Besides four other chapters, it’s one of my faves!)…and I got a flashback to those days, when our man was angry and mad and raw…..uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Now I can’t wait to read the next chapter,soooo happy to see those two together again….very nice and sweet chapter, thank you and please please please hurry up, girl! LOVE

Yeah the table…hee hee

glad to see you here!!


I am so glad they are back together and it was written beautifully. I also am a little nervous about the upcoming drama but can’t wait for more!

By shaylovesmj on March 30th, 2012 at 6:15 pm

Im sooo sorry im late! But; I would like to say that I love your story so much and I love this chapter. Im happy that mike and lexi are back together! this was very nice and I just love Alannah, she is very smart! …grate chapter darlin ……I SOOOOO CAN’T WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE!

Update. I miss ur story.

Wow, this chapter was just beautiful! Lexi and Michael can finally be one again after all the pain, this should certainly help him with what’s to come next. Love your story!

Good to see you all.

Am working on a new chapter, hang tight it will be up soon.

Happy Spring,


By Shaylovesmj on May 6th, 2012 at 11:00 am

AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! DPYT!!!! I really don’t mean to rush you but IM GONNA DIE WAITING FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER!!! LOL …If only you knew how hard my heart just fell when I didn’t see the next update! …Okay, I’ll be cool now. Just had to get that off my chest. 😀 ….but please Dyt have mercy!!!!! Geez! 🙂

Oh, babygirl I know. I kinda have writers block. Am trying though, plus I’ve been real busy with stuff. I’m sorry. Please beat me with a whip or something to get me started.

By shaylovesmj on May 8th, 2012 at 5:52 pm

LOL 🙂 ….It’s cool love. 😀 Just waiting for the next update ….take ur time tho darlin …..BUT DON’T TAKE TO LONG!!! 😀 ….I’ll still be waiting if im not dead. 🙂 (jk)

Hey. When does next chapter come? And I’m seriously addicted to your story! Keep writing girl:-) LOVE IT!

Girl where you been continue if you do you can consider it a month early birthday gift lol

New chapter soon???? (I’m dying over here!!) lol!

By shaylovesmj on July 26th, 2012 at 4:07 pm

Heyyyy! just checking in LOL … To keep myself busy while waitng for the next chapter, I have read the whole story over, and wanted to ask you something. I know you put up some pictures of lexi ..but u can never see her face lol. Im thinking, so we can use our own imagination on how she looks but I was just wondering ….Do you block them out yourself? or do you get them like that? …just wondering 🙂

By NifghtGarden on August 20th, 2012 at 6:02 am

I really loved this one…so sweet and intense. Can we hope for a Birthday Celebration new chapter?

Are u going to continue? I’ve reread all the chapters 4 times, can u please continue

I thought you said that you were going to continue these stories.?!

It’s coming, I don’t know if you all saw the post but I have had to deal with some personal issues.

Girl can you at least give us a date .?

Hon, my Momma passed away a few weeks ago and I just havent had my heart or mind into it. I am just trying to deal with life right now. I hope it wont be long.

My continued condolences to both you and your family, hun, as you come to terms with your mother’s passing. You were wonderful in your care of her in her final years and I’m sure she is smiling down from heaven right now.

Much love!

My Condolences To You Dangerous PYT. Take All The Time You Need.

I had a feeling to come visit this site today. 🙂

DPYT, my condolences to you and yours.

Never apologize for having a life; life is so very precious and truly living does not allow one moment to spare.

You already blessed us with this site. Even if you never write another word, your generosity is appreciated. I never forgot Michael throwing that plate across the room in chapter six of New Beginnings LOL. I will always be grateful to you for that and so much more.

It was great to see familiar names again and I loved the comments between you and Tigereyes. (hugs)

Let Miss Prince and I know if you ever need anything. 🙂

You all are so special. I want to write, there is something sitting ‘right’ there just waiting to come out. To be honest I am hoping it wont be some horrible sad thing. I want it to be worthy of you all. Who knows maybe a couple of shots of Patron and it will spark something.

I’m so sorry that I cant just spit something out. I honestly just sit in front of the screen and stare when I try.

Again thank you all so much for your kindness it means so much. Today I lost a dear friend to cancer, these hits just keep coming and its all I can do to keep it together it seems. Prayer, family and friends are my salvation.

No apologies are needed. You can’t treat grief like getting over the flu. It’s going to take time and you owe it to yourself to go at your own pace. When your heart heals and your voice returns, you will sit down and write….and not one minute sooner.

And my deepest sympathies for the loss of your friend. It truly has been a very difficult year of continual losses for you and I wish you both shelter and healing, friend.


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