Heart of the Matter

Heart of the Matter
November 2003

Lexi slept for most of three days, except for the time that she spent locked behind the door of the bathroom. When she came out, she laid right back down again on the palette they had made on the floor. It consisted of two mattresses pushed together, the four children plus Michael and her during the night. During the day, Michael was followed everywhere by Alannah. She had become his shadow, perhaps even closer than a shadow, because she clung to him like a second skin. Even denying her brother and sister the pleasure of playtime when they asked it of her. Michael held her when he could and tried to be as comforting as possible, hoping that she like her Mother would soon break her silence and let him in on what had happened while they had been missing.

_________________________________________________________

“We’ll be leaving in the morning Sally. I promise you that we will come there as soon as we can.”

Michael stood with his cell phone to his ear talking to Lexi’s Mother in Los Angeles.

“Yes, I know you are worried. I am too.”

Reaching down he stroked ‘lannah’s hair as she stood by his side,

“No not a thing, she hasn’t mentioned anything yet. I still don’t know what happened.”

He felt tears begin to burn behind his eyes,

“You don’t need to come up here, we will see you tomorrow. I am going right now to go check on her. Thanks so much Sally. Yeah…Love you more….bye.”

He paused as he folded the cell phone into his pocket and looked down at his daughter,

“I’m going to see your Mom. Miss Grace needs to stay with you for a few minutes Babygirl.”

Her whisper was barely audible as he knelt down,

“I wanna stay with you Poppa…please.”

 “Listen, Miss Grace is going to take you shopping and get your hair fixed up, you really need it done. Wouldn’t you like that?”

Alannah barely shook her head her eyes cast down towards the floor.

“Why not ‘lannah, you have always loved to go get your hair done up like a princess.”

“No…I don’t wanna go. I need to stay with you.”

Michael could see her trembling and he hugged her close,

“What is it? What happened Baby?”

Pulling back he studied her dark eyes closely and finally gave in,

“All right, you don’t have to go. But ‘lannah…the Doctor is coming. You remember Miss Annabelle don’t you?”

He waited as she wiped her face and nodded her head,

“OK, well she is going to talk to your Mom. I’m worried about her and I want to make sure she is going to be better.”

Alannah launched herself at Michael, her arms wrapped tightly around his neck and she whispered,

“Help her Poppa, Please?”

“I’m trying, I promise ‘lannah I am trying.”

Knocking on the door he prepared himself for a confrontation. He didn’t blame her, but he couldn’t help it either. She always knew where his heart belonged and he never lied to her or let her believe that he loved her.

“Hey…I don’t know how long I will be, can you fix up her hair too?”

“Of course, I will do that for her; then she can play with Prince and Paris. Take your time….”

Grace raised her eyes up from looking at Alannah, to gaze defiantly at Michael and continued,

“We will all be fine, it just takes time.”

Nervously smoothing his hair out of his own eyes he searched for the right words, finally settling for simplicity,

“I couldn’t do this without you. Everything…right now, it’s just all so much.”

“Michael…go take care of it. Alannah will be Ok.”

“Yeah…alright. Thanks…thanks so much.”

He turned leaving Grace’s bungalow with a huge weight off of his shoulders and one less problem to deal with as he walked towards his long awaited confrontation with Lexi.

  ________________________________________

Water ran in small streams down her back and she shivered slightly as she settled down once again onto the mattress on the floor. Unwrapping her towel from around her body she ran it down the length of her legs and finally over her still damp hair hoping to stem the chill that never seemed to fade from her limbs. The steam from her shower had caused her to begin to cough again and she bent over clutching her chest just as Michael opened the door and stepped inside. He studied the line of her spine as she arched forward and the trace of a bruise was still visible above the dimple where her kidney lay.

Luckily her coughing spell didn’t last long and he was grateful to see her up and awake. Her face scrubbed and flush with color after the much needed shower, of which the smell of berries still lingered in the air.

“You look great this morning Lex, how do you feel?”

“Ok I guess.”

She tilted her head up to look at him and he tried not to flinch when he saw her still bruised eye.

“Babe…um ‘lannah is um with Grace and the kids this morning.”

Lexi didn’t respond as she mindlessly combed her hair, staring through Michael like he wasn’t even there.

“Lex? Alexis!”

Somehow the tone of his voice seemed to startle her back to reality,

“Yeah…?.”

“Lex, Belle is here.”

“Belle? Really?”

“Mmm hmm, she is…I asked her to come check you out. You need to see a Doctor.”

Finally her eyes seemed to focus,

“No…I don’t need a Doctor. Please, Michael. I’m fine…all I need is you. You, ‘lannah and Neverland, please don’t make me see her.”

“Lex she won’t be long and I will feel a lot better about us leaving for LA tomorrow.”

Lexi sprang to her feet, forgetting that she was still naked from her shower.

“No…I don’t want to leave The Ranch. Please Michael, don’t make us leave here.”

Her eyes became wild and Michael reached out for her to try to calm her down,

“Alexis, we won’t be gone long. Your Mom really wants to see you and I need to see my lawyer.

Lexi had fallen to her knees in front of him, her eyes full of tears.

“Don’t make me go..”

“Lex….It’s Ok…”

“Michael, I…we, please”

Before he had a chance to answer; she pressed against him, her hand searching inside the waistband of his pajamas for what would soon be swelling inside her mouth.

“Babe…Lex, what are you mmmm”

“See, don’t you want me to stay?”

Drawing him out of his clothing she ran her lips and tongue over his still flaccid member leaving enough saliva for her hand to run down his length and back again. As Michael began to grow hard under her touch she felt his body relax, as he leaned back on the dresser behind him for support.

“Lex…damn girl that feels so good. I’ve missed you so much.”

Lexi felt no emotion, no attachment. She went to the place in her mind she had gone to so many times since she had been gone…she did what she had to do, and as long as it kept her and ‘lannah safe that’s all that mattered.

“I know you want me here…tell me Michael.”

Michael was oblivious to everything but how it felt. He had imagined finally being with her again and now she was all over him at last. Her lips and tongue caressed every inch of his growing shaft, and he yearned for more. Michael pushed his hips forward and welcomed her fully, not realizing the extent of the trauma Lexi had been though. Until at last he glanced down wanting to see her beautiful face as he remembered it, but what he saw broke his heart.

She slid her lips off of him and mumbled between whispered sobs,

“Don’t make me leave…please baby, don’t make me leave.”

He snapped from the moment and pushed her away with one hand. His breathless demand catching him by surprise,

“Stop, Alexis please stop. We can’t…we can’t do this, ahhh god we can’t do this right now.”

He ended up bent over for a moment trying to relax from the erection and emotions Lexi had aroused in him. She remained on her knees, like some kind of obedient servant, waiting on the next order while her tears still streamed down her face.

“Get dressed Lex please, Belle needs to see you.”

Wiping the back of her hand across her mouth she staggered to her feet and found a robe and lay back down in the bed while her sobs still reverberated in the room.

Michael collected himself and called to the main house for Annabelle to meet them at the bungalow. He was terrified what she might find wrong with Lexi, but he knew he had to find out to begin to help make her well again.

Taking a moment to sit with her before Belle arrived he stroked her forehead,

“I’ll do everything I can to help you Lex. They’ll have to take me away from you this time.”

“Michael, I’m afraid for you. What they are doing to you”

“Don’t be.”

What he couldn’t tell her was that he was afraid too.

___________________________________________

The cell phone was hot against his ear as Geragos continued to talk and talk about the strategy they would take in the case. Michael tried to concentrate but the miles continued to click by as they made their way towards Los Angeles. He couldn’t help but become more distracted as he thought back to what Belle had told him after she saw Lexi, a whispered description of the mysterious injuries that marked her body.

“Mark…excuse me Mark, my phone reception is bad here in the mountains and I am going to have to hang up. I will see you first thing tomorrow morning. Goodnight.”

Closing the phone with a slight sigh, Michael glanced over at Lexi who sat curled against the door of the Escalade wrapped up in a blanket.

“Sorry that took so long.” Michael offered

Lexi shrugged slightly in the dim light, shifting away from him as she readjusted her weight.

“Lex, I talked to Belle, she said that…”

“I don’t want to talk about it Michael!” Lexi cut him off mid-sentence.

He spoke softly, “I know it must be hard.”

“You have no idea, please leave it alone.” Her voice dropped low and her eyes drifted to look out the window at the fading light.

“OK, I’m here then….um whenever.” Michael bit his bottom lip nervously not knowing what else to do for her at the moment.

For several miles they both sat in silence until the Escalade had to stop for traffic on the two lane road.

“Get back Mr. Jackson…get down please in the vehicle.” Michael’s security guard requested as someone ran down the line of cars.

The panicked man begged for help, “Somebody please help, there’s been an accident. It’s really bad.”

Michael’s bodyguard looked at his phone, “No service…Mr. Jackson do you have service.”

“No…none.” Michael replied

Michael heard Lexi mumble under her breath, “What Lex?”

“I’m going…” Lexi glanced briefly at Michael before opening the door of the Escalade.

“Mr. Jackson, I can’t allow her to leave.”

The bodyguard began to go after Lexi but Michael interrupted, “Let her go.”

“But, it’s not safe for you.” The bodyguard countered.

“I said let her go, that’s an order!” Michael exclaimed

He watched as she carefully made her way through the maze of cars until she was out of sight. He wished with all his might he could join her, even walk closer and watch her work again…like that first night so long ago. He imagined her back in her element saving the person in the car with precision and grace. Before long the distant sounds of sirens were heard and eventually Lexi made it back to him.

“I need to clean up.” She said quietly

Michael stared at her expecting a story but receiving nothing. “All right…traffic is starting to move we can stop up the road at the rest stop.”

As they moved past the accident Michael stared at the wreckage, wondering how anyone could have survived.

“Lex, are those people OK?”

“The passengers are dead. The driver made it…he was drunk, killed his wife and son tonight.”

Her eyes were cold, her tone harsh and businesslike.

Michael blinked back tears at what she had told him.

Again the car was silent as they drove on to the rest stop, Lexi stoic in her composure…Michael trying to retain his.

Finally arriving, Lexi found some sweats from her suitcase and entered the bathroom to clean up from helping out at the accident scene.

One of Michael’s bodyguards stood outside the door for her protection as Michael and his driver waited in the Escalade. Grace called to tell him they had arrived in L.A. and she was treating the kids to pizza. He briefly talked to them all before finally hanging up, promising to tuck them into bed as soon as he arrived. Noticing it had been much longer than it should have taken and he boldly stepped out of the vehicle.

“Mr. Jackson, you can’t get out here. It’s not safe.” exclaimed the driver.

“It’s just us, it will be fine. I am just going to check on her. Besides that’s what I pay you guys for.” Michael shook his head as he turned into the bathroom.

“Lex? Lex…no no no, Lex girl. What happened?” Michael ran towards Lexi who was crumpled, wet, and nude on the floor of the rest room.

“My hands…mah mah my hands. Michael my hands.” Lexi held her hands out in front of her as she broke down in hysterics.

Michael tried not to panic as he turned off the water pouring out of the faucet. “What Baby, what about your hands…tell me. Let me help you.”

“The tha tha blood. Michael, the blood it was all over.” Her cries were shrill in the bathroom and in his ears as he pulled her sweats on and zipped a jacket up to dress her.

“Come on, baby lets go get in the car. You can tell me in the car OK? Michael coaxed her slowly but surely to follow him back to the Escalade where he immediately rolled up the privacy glass.

Still hysterical, Lexi clung to him gasping for air. “I didn’t mean to…Dah Dah Danny he wanted to go. Michael, I didn’t mean to. I didn’t mean to.”

Michael grasped her face in his hands, “What Baby, what didn’t you mean to do.”

“I had to save ‘lannah, I had to get home to you. Please promise you won’t hate me Mah Mah Michael please.”

“Alexis, all I care about is having you and ‘lannah back with me. You’re safe now, that’s what matters.”

“No Michael…no. I left. He was horrible, I hate him….Michael, god what have I done?”

Collapsing onto his lap, Lexi wept with the release of emotions she had held in since the escape from Mexico. The few tears she shed when she had first seen Michael had quickly dried and her guard had been up to try and prevent the breakdown that the accident scene had finally unleashed.

Stroking her hair Michael let her cry, hoping she would finally confess her secret.

Eventually they were past Ventura when she sat up staring at him with swollen eyes, “I left him to die, I’m a doctor and I left him to die.”

“You were protecting yourself and ‘lannah. Alexis, you did what you had to do.” Lexi could feel Michael’s dark eyes searching for hers in the darkness of the backseat.

“No, it..it wasn’t like that. It is a long story but Danny…Michael it was Danny from Germany that helped me get away.”

Michael shifted in his seat and his voice deepened, “The stalker? Lex I swear to god, did he do this to you?”

Lexi’s voice was soft and reflective, “No, no he was working for Patrick…my um boyfriend.” Her voice cracked as she said the word.

“The last time I spoke to ‘lannah she said something about a Patrick.” Michael tried not to sound disgusted. He wanted her to keep talking but it hurt to hear it.

“Yeah, he..he was the guy you saw in the driveway that time on my birthday. We met again after we broke up. He was in Cabo and we started to see each other, he seemed like a nice guy….at first.”

“and then?” his voice was a whisper

“I was sick. Michael I’ve been sick, since I last saw you. I have this cough that won’t go away, and I can’t get well. “

“Belle said your lungs are bad, she needs you to get an xray tomorrow.”

“I already know what it will show.”

Michael rubbed his hand over his face, trying to keep the tears at bay,

“Lex, please god, Lex…please tell me the cancer is not back?

“No, at least not yet. It’s some kind of chronic bronchitis; they don’t really know exactly what it is. It’s painful, and that’s, um something else I need to talk to you about…”

Pulling her close, Michael ran his fingers softly down the inside of her arm, “It’s Ok, Baby. Let me help you now.”

“I’m sorry, I let myself get lost Michael. I was sick and unhappy and I didn’t care anymore. Alannah saved me, she wanted to come home to you, her Daddy. And that’s when he started, you know. I tried to leave, but he knew…Michael he knew about Blanket. I swear to you I never told him a thing though. All he wanted was the story for his stupid tabloid, and to control me. The crazy thing was he could never figure out ‘lannah was yours too.”

“How long did this go on Lex?”

“Months, until he had Danny come to the house in La Paz. I guess he thought he could trust him. Danny had a boat and they were going to go fishing that day but he came inside and saw me in the kitchen.”

“You must have been really scared Lex, I mean the last time you saw that guy he was trying to hurt you.”

“I was terrified Michael, but you know what happened? Our baby walked in at the same time and I dunno, I saw some kind of change in him.”

“Really? Like nice?”

“Yeah, he nodded towards the dock and I whispered to ‘lannah to get ready to run. She picked up Brandon’s duck..”

“The Duck?”

“Our daughter is incredible Michael, you wont believe what she did.”

“OK, so you took the boat?”

Lexi’s eyes started to water again,

“Pat, hmmm, Patrick was in the boat house getting his tackle and we ran for the boat. Danny told me to cast off as he powered up, I settled ‘lannah in the bow and just as I got to the stern and cleats Patrick had made it to the dock.”

“Oh god, Lex what happened”

“He kicked me in the face, that’s how I got this black eye and busted lip.”

Michael’s voice was low and he spoke though clenched teeth,

“He kicked you in the face? THE FACE!”

“Mmm hmm, yeah. Somehow I pushed him and he fell in the water…fell in the water right as Danny put the boat in gear. Michael the prop ran over him, his arm…it was gone. GONE!”

Her sobs were back at full strength but Michael didn’t console her,

“Da..da..Danny, I made him stop and the water it was full of blood. I tried to drag him on the boat, My hands they were full of blood….but Danny he took off. We left him in the water to die. Michael what have I done, what have I done? I’m a Doctor…what have I done.”

“You survived Lex…you survived, and now you both are home where you belong. I needed you here so badly, I prayed for you and those prayers were answered. Look, you are right here in my arms.”

“I don’t know if I can live with myself.”

“Live for me Lex….live for ‘lannah, and B and Paris and Prince then you can live with yourself.”

“I love you Michael.”

“I love you more Alexis….I love you so much more.”

To Be Continued

Please Rate This Chapter Below

About

DangerousPYT,

Where making it passionate is what we urge you to do everyday. Life is too short...sing, dance, play and most of all L.O.V.E.