New Beginnings XVII

New Beginnings XVII

January/February 1992

The paper on the desk seemed to pulse with a life of its own as he stared at it. The diamonds from the ring lying on top of it winked and glittered in a perverted dance that seemed to mock him in the fading light of the afternoon sun. He didn’t know why he was afraid to look, and didn’t know why he was scared to see the results in black and white…but there he had sat staring at it for hours. When he thought about it, it was what he had been praying for. But he was scared, because now she was gone, and he saw the anger, hurt and fear in her eyes when she walked out. The ringing of the phone eventually brought him out of his daze. Luckily it was the private line and he was able to answer it.

“Hello. Hi Bill. Yeah I need a ride.”

“No, she is gone; I sent her home from work early today. Listen, it’s been a crazy afternoon and I don’t want a lecture. Just come and get me. I need to go and get my truck.”

“The Blazer, I have to go take care of something by myself tonight. OK, see ya then.”

Michael felt his stomach tie up in knots as he leaned forward and picked up the ring. Holding it in his palm it seemed small and fragile, like their relationship at that very moment. He slipped it into the front pocket of his jeans hoping that by the end of the night it would be back on her finger where it belonged. Finally he found the courage and held the test results in his trembling hands, still afraid to look, but determined to face the truth. Unfolding the document he read over the medical terminology on the page. Words like Quantitative, RH-, and what especially seemed to stand out on the page a bold “X” beside the word POSITIVE. Michael’s hand came to his mouth and he studied the test staring at every detail, when it suddenly struck him…he would be somewhere in Europe on tour later that summer.

Flipping through the day planner his assistant had left for him, he furiously counted off the weeks until he counted to forty. He felt a wave of happiness wash over him at last and he couldn’t help but smile at the thought that his baby might actually be born near his birthday. Taking that as a sign, he turned off the light and locked his office, knowing that he would set this mess he had made straight.

Lexi collapsed onto her favorite chair still shaken from the confrontation at Michael’s office. She had summoned all her courage before she ever walked in the door knowing she was going to tell him she was carrying his child. Stupidly she thought they might be able to work it out; find a way to fix what he had torn apart. But there That Woman sat, perched on the edge of his desk like a vulture feeding on what was left of their love. Her decision had been hasty, she realized that. However, she was angry and hurt and she had lashed out the only way she could. She wanted him to hurt him as much as she had been and if that meant making sure Diana was out of his life by thinking they were back together, then so be it. Her body ached already with pangs of regret; she could still feel his kiss so soft on her lips. His eyes had looked so longingly into hers when he saw her, and were so utterly shocked and devastated when she took his future and left. It would be a long fight; Lexi knew he wouldn’t just walk away willingly. Glancing at the clock she saw that it was after six and too late to make the phone call, but made a mental note to do it first thing in the morning. The person she chose had to be tough, discreet and powerful, but most of all they had to be willing to go up against the best lawyers in California. Lexi wondered how she could ever find council that would take her case, or even believe her story.

Reaching above his head, Michael pushed in vain on the remote for the garage door. Realizing it had been reprogrammed he parked in the driveway and lay his head dejectedly upon the steering wheel, praying Lexi would at least listen to his heartfelt pleas. When he stepped out of the truck his legs felt like rubber and his throat was dry with fear. How was it that he could perform in front of thousands of fans, yet approaching her front door made him frightened beyond belief?

Michael stood for several minutes working up the will to finally knock when Lexi quietly opened the door. “There is nothing left to say Michael, please just leave.” Lexi turned to close the door but Michael caught it with his hand. “Please, please just give me a few minutes. I haven’t bothered you all this time Lex. I haven’t called, or come over; I just need to tell you how I feel. Give me that much…after everything we’ve been through together.” She felt her blood pressure rise at his words, “GIVE YOU? Give you Michael? I gave you everything I had…” Lexi’s voice broke as she fought off tears. “I’m sorry. Baby, oh god.” Michael stood in the doorway and watched as she walked back in the house. Deciding not to wait to be invited in, he stepped inside. “All I ask is that you hear me out, fifteen minutes, please.” Resigned to the fact he wasn’t going to leave, she sat down with a sigh on the couch. “Say what you have to say, I’m tired Michael.” Nervously bringing his hand to his face he looked at her as she sat there, pale and thin. “Lexi, first of all, are you alright? How are you feeling?” He couldn’t help but remember how sick Hunter had been and the problems she had gone through early in her pregnancy. “The baby is fine Michael, if that’s what you want to know.” Lexi gave him an annoyed look as she shifted in her seat. Sitting down beside her he softly said, “No, it’s you I want to know about?” Silence was their barrier as she contemplated what to say, it seemed to last for hours even though it was only a minute or more. “Me? Hmmm, me…I’m scared. I never imagined I would be alone for this.” Lexi felt her eyes well up again and she quickly turned her head to avoid his gaze. His hand flexed wanting to reach out for her but he resisted, “You don’t have to be alone. Let me make it up to you Alexis. I love you so much.” Her eyes flashed with fire before she answered him, “You love me? How can you say that Michael? How can you love me, but yet you are sleeping with That Woman too? You can’t have both.” Michael buried his face in his hands trying to stop the tide of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him, “I know… your right. You didn’t deserve to be treated like that. It was wrong, I was wrong…I will do anything to fix this Alexis.” “Has there been anyone else Michael?” Lexi sounded tired when she asked the question. He picked his head up looking her straight in the eye, “No, I swear to you. There have been times when I could have Lexi, but I didn’t. I love you too much. I was weak with Diane, give me another chance to make It up…to make things right. I want our family together.” Lexi looked up into his puffy, tear filled eyes and saw his sincerity. “I have to think about it Michael, I’m sorry but I need some time.” He stood, knowing that his time with her was finished, “OK, I am leaving for Africa; can I call and check on you?” She nodded her head as she wiped her face with the back of her hand. “Yeah, sure that will be fine.” Michael paused at the door and leaned against it. “I think of you every second Alexis. It hurts to even breathe without you beside me at night. I am the biggest fool on Earth for hurting you, and I will be sorry forever for doing it.” “Michael, I know you love me, and I know you are sorry. I just don’t know if I can trust you anymore. What if I take you back and you do this again, and again. Am I supposed to live like your Mother?” He visibly flinched when she mentioned the comparison to Joseph, “You won’t, I swear. God I swear, I will never be like my Father.” Lexi leaned forward to reach for the doorknob but he caught her hand and pulled her close to him. “I am going to fight for you girl. I won’t just let you walk away from me.” Michael’s hand cradled her neck as his lips met hers. He had almost forgotten how sweet they tasted, how soft they were as he parted them with his tongue. She felt the room spin as he held her close and her breath became faster when he stroked her cheek with his thumb. Lexi rolled his lower lip between her teeth and moaned when he pulled her tightly to his body. “I miss you Michael, I don’t understand any of this? “ Michael tasted her tears as they fell and he whispered softly, “I will make it up to you.  Lex, I won’t go on this trip. God, I’ll cancel the tour. Whatever it takes….just give me the word.” Realizing that she was close to giving in, she pulled away, “Call me Michael. Have a safe trip.” She opened the door for him but he hesitated, “Lexi, take care of yourself, please don’t overdo it.” “I’m fine, I’ll talk to you later Michael.” He took a moment and held her face in his hand before he finally walked away. Lexi saw the emotion in his face as his eyes met hers wanting an answer. An answer she was unable to give him.

Michael landed initially in Gabon and was overcome with the reception he received by the people of the continent. The light in their eyes, the rhythm in their bodies and the kindness in their hearts spoke to him in a way that fed his spirit. He truly felt peaceful and whole, for the first time in years. Lexi heard it in his voice when he found the time to call and check in with her. She was stunned when he told her he had been crowned a real live King. “King Sani” and it all happened under an ancient tree that symbolized the essence of power. She heard him grow fatigued as the trip stretched out and she knew he wasn’t sleeping well. She saw and read the gossip that it was a public relations nightmare, but she knew it was just the press trying to sabotage him again. How could it be that he told her there were hundreds of thousands of people showing up to see him, yet the press were writing such horrible things. She didn’t understand why they attacked him so viciously and as much as she tried to be angry with him, she felt herself still waiting for his calls and smiling when she heard his voice at the other end of the phone. He constantly asked for updates on her health and was noticeably upset when she had her first appointment with the OB-GYN and he was unable to join her. She assured him that she was fine and that if anything happened she would let him know right away. Her morning sickness had been light, but she had been concerned about some cramping early on. Her doctor told her that it was normal and to let her know if anything out of the ordinary occurred and booked her for another routine visit in March. Michael’s trip finally came to a close and he landed in New York to hold his press conference to announce his tour.  Lexi saw highlights on CNN and was stunned when he revealed that all of his profits from the tour would go to the new charity he had established. The enormity of the announcement struck her and she realized that Michael would be able to literally help thousands of children. She had yet to make her decision, and had still not called a lawyer. Hoping that an answer would be delivered to her like some kind of magical gift.

Neverland seemed almost as exotic as Africa when the lights of the limo pulled through the gates at midnight Pacific Time. For once he truly felt exhausted and barely made it up to his room before he collapsed on the bed into a deep sleep. His dreams were colorful, drum beats and dancing along with laughing children and lastly soft skin close to his. He moved closer and breathed deep of the gently scented aroma of her hair. Fresh, light and so vivid to his unconsciousness, his body began to stir with a longing he had wanted to forget. Trying to move his arms felt heavy as he reached for her, he struggled to pull her close…to feel her once again next to him. Moaning with desire he spoke her name, “Alexis…lexis” Through the heavy haze of fatigue he heard her speak breathlessly in his ear, “Shhh Michael, sleep for now. I am here with you.” Automatically he pulled her against him, burying his head in her shoulder. Lying in his arms Lexi looked at the clock. It was three AM and she should be exhausted from her drive and the decision she had made that afternoon, but all she could think about was how right it felt to be lying beside him once again. Reaching down she found his hand and gently placed it over her growing belly; and this time her tears were from relief…not sorrow.

Michael began to stir from his sleep; yet again dreading the day ahead when he realized he was not alone. The first rays of dawn were peeking through the doors but he didn’t need sunlight to be able to tell who was sharing his bed. She fit perfectly against him, tucked tightly as she quietly slept. Rising up on his elbow he studied her face, the tension that had been etched there was gone and she seemed to be glowing from the inside out. He couldn’t help but caress her gently underneath the covers and was surprised when he felt her growing curves against his hand. Lying back down he was overcome with the emotion of the moment. “Oh god Alexis, I love you so much.” His whisper barely audible as he wept into her hair and realized how blessed he was to have her in his arms. Eventually he brushed her shoulder with a light kiss and softly said, “I promise you…I will never let you down again. I’ll be the man you want me to be.” Trying not to disturb her sleep he gently got up from the bed and went in his bathroom to take a shower. The sound of the water running allowed her to open her eyes. She had heard him, felt him, and in that moment forgave him. She prayed that she wouldn’t one day regret her decisions, but she had to think of her baby….and she did love him. Desperately, madly, passionately love him. Running to the second bathroom she freshened up and got back in the bed before he was finished with his shower. She didn’t want to embarrass him by letting him know that she was awake when he broke down.  But she would remember what he said and hold him to his promise.

He was only wearing a towel when he opened the door and stepped out in a cloud of steam. Lexi lay on her side staring at him not saying a word. Trying to be discreet it took a moment for him to realize she was awake and watching him. When he did he slid into bed beside her and gathered her in his arms. “I thought it was a dream. I thought I was so tired I dreamt you here last night.” His gaze into her eyes was so intense she had to look away for a moment. She had to take a deep breath and clear her thoughts. Turning back to him she reached up and touched his face, his lips and finally pulled him to her for a kiss. His lips were tender, and tentative as if he were afraid she would reject anything more than his lips. Lexi knew she had to reassure him that she was committed to him once again. Reaching down she pulled the towel free at his waist and grazed her hand gently across his stomach and thigh. She heard his gasp as he pushed her over, and his tongue finally pushed her lips apart. Passions were ignited and his hands seemed to be everywhere, in her hair, her neck…pushing her thighs closer to his hips. He became almost possessed with desire and she returned it in kind. Lexi pulled off her panties and pushed her naked body against him seductively. Wrapping her legs around his he could feel her already growing wetness as she began to move upon him. “Girl, you got me so turned on…I’m not going to last.” His tortured confession moved her lower and she took him between her full lips. She could hear his groan as she moved upon him, partially at first. Pulling his flesh down and wrapping her lips around his tip. Taking him in she felt his hips push against her, as his hands tangled in her hair. She could smell his fragrance, fresh and clean; and it excited her to please him. He was so ready for her she had to move slowly so he didn’t come too soon. Bouncing her head gently she sucked hard, while her tongue caressed him in ever widening circles. Drawing slowly upward she lingered again on his tip, wrapping her fingers firmly around his wide shaft. Lexi’s eyes met his and she moaned exotically, “Yeah…right there.” Michael was close and he urged her on, “Babe, I’m gonna…god!” She was still watching him as his face flushed and his eyes rolled back. Sinking back down, she spun her lips upon him as he lay panting on the bed. His hand still lay on the back of her head as she rested her cheek on his stomach. She smiled as she watched his belly button rise and fall with his heavy breathing, she had even missed it.

She kissed his side sweetly and started to get up when he pulled her to him. “Where do you think you are going?” Smiling she answered, “To take a shower.” Nuzzling her ear he whispered, “Not yet, we’re not finished here.” Michael rose up and sat beside her. Reaching up behind him he turned on the spotlight over the bed making sure it was dim but still illuminated her body. “Let me look at you. I want to see you.” Suddenly feeling shy she curled into a ball, self conscious of her changing appearance. “Michael, please…it’s hard for me.” Staring at her belly he paused a moment before speaking. “You’ve never been more beautiful to me Alexis. Having a love like you and our baby is all I ever wanted.” Slowly she stretched out below him, allowing him to see her fully for the first time. Automatically his hand was drawn to her stomach, and the precious bump that seemed to have magically appeared there. “Do you know for sure how far along you are?” Lexi placed her hand over his and looked up at him, “Yeah, thirteen weeks. He’s due around the first of September.” Michael looked up quickly, “Or the end of August?” His eyes were big and round as he thought again of his baby possibly being born on his birthday. This drew a giggle from Lexi, “Uh huh, or the end of August Michael.” Bouncing down on the bed beside her, he felt overwhelmed at the thought of it. “I’m supposed to be in Europe…Germany I think. We’re going to have to reschedule it; I don’t care though…I would fly to the moon for you guys.” “You could just walk you know.” Lexi interjected quickly laughing at her joke. Glancing at her sideways, Michael pulled her close and covered her with the sheet. “Thank you for taking me back Lex, I missed you so much. My life isn’t the same without you.” Taking a deep breath she spoke softly in reply, “My life isn’t the same either Michael, especially now. I would have left for good if I didn’t have this baby to think about. As much as I love you, I don’t need you. Michael remember the first time you told me you loved me at the pool? I told you I wasn’t ready to let you go, well I’m still not. But just like then Michael, I won’t ever ask you to stay with me. I won’t beg for your love, I am here and you either take me…and now our baby or leave. But I will never beg you to stay.” He sat quietly for several moments contemplating what she had said before answering, “I remember. I thought about that a lot actually the last couple of weeks. You don’t have to beg Lexi, I am not going anywhere. You can come along wherever I go if you want, but I am here for good.”

Michael began to trace his fingers lightly up her arm as they lay in a comfortable silence. Closing her eyes she let the soothing sensation of his touch fall over her completely. Soon she felt his breath on her ear, long hot ragged breaths that gave her goose bumps on her flesh. As he spoke his fingers reached her breasts and softly moved her nipples under his palms. “Make love with me. I’ve missed feeling you move with me.” His tongue darted into her ear before his lips found her neck. Lexi arched up in response as his fingers clamped down on her breast. His lips slid across her body and joined his fingers, circling her nipple. Teasing and taunting, till it was hard and sensitive under his teeth. She looked down as he pulled it back with his lips and heard the sucking sounds he made as he encouraged her desire to grow. Michael spread her legs apart with his knee, reaching down simultaneously to feel her sex. Licking his fingers he sank them inside her wetness, gently preparing her for his entry. Lexi could feel herself burn with a yearning as her hips began to move against his hand. “Michael, Mmmm yes…right there…” She cried out as he moved his thumb against her core, trembling as she felt herself move closer to completion. Looking up from her breasts he watched her face twist and turn with need, beads of perspiration standing out on her brow. Rising up above her he held his shaft against her slick opening, slowly he massaged her core with it. Testing her desire, he rubbed it against her then drew it back. Placed it at her entrance, then massaged her with it some more. Lexi’s hips seemed to move into overdrive and her moan of longing as she reached for him was fierce. “Give it to me, god…just give it to me.” Biting on his lower lip he slowly slid inside her, afraid of what she could take. She felt tight and warm and wet….oh so wet. His own hips seemed to take over and he rolled deeply into her as she wrapped her legs around his hips. Reaching up she pushed against the headboard and Michael felt himself quiver as he watched her breasts bounce in time with his rolls. Soon he lost control and began to thrust deeply into her, her cries of ecstasy ringing in his ears. Her nails scratched down his back as she wrapped her arms around him. “I’m gonna come baby…yes it feels…” Michael felt her walls tighten around him as her wetness crept down his shaft. His own fire grew and seemed to burst along with her, yielding and burning as they peaked together…until they finally crumpled, exhausted in ecstasy.

The intercom rang waking them both up again. Michael reached for the phone answering in his groggy voice, “Yeah…no. NO! No way, I do not want to see him. Don’t let him through the gates even.” Slamming the phone down he sat up on the side of the bed. “Michael, who is here?” Lexi asked him tentatively. Standing up he pulled on his pajama bottoms and walked to the French doors, “My Father, he wants to talk to me about you Lexi.” A hundred thoughts of Joseph meddling in his personal life flashed though his mind. Diane, Stephanie, Tatum…he kept Hunter a secret for a reason and there was no way in hell Joseph would interfere with Lexi. Katherine must have told him something, damn it. He loved his Mother but sometime he wished she would just leave it alone.

Lexi felt herself begin to tremble at the mention of Joseph’s name; she hadn’t forgotten what he had done to her right there at Neverland. She knew he was ruthless and would do anything to protect Michael or more importantly Michael’s money.

To be continued…

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