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Heart of the Matter III

deep eyes


April 2004

The hum of the nebulizer was audible even before he opened the French doors. His only surprise was that it lay idly running and Lexi was nowhere to be found in the garden. Setting the coffee service on the patio table, Michael sat down on the lounge that was still slightly warm from where she had been just moments before. Turning off the breathing machine, the fog of medicine stopped spraying its aimless mist into the dark of the early morning.

Michael poured her a cup of coffee and listened intently to hear over the awakening of nature, eventually catching the strains of her improving yet so far persistent cough in the distance. Finally gentle footfalls fell upon the path and he heard soft laughter ring out as she saw him bundled against the slight chill of the Easter morning,

“Hello… Miss Bunny?”

“Hi!” She called back softly.

“Sugar? Sugar.” He asked while he held out her favorite mug,

“Of course always plenty in my coffee, but you know that “She teased with a smile.

“Mmm hmm…it keeps you sweet, just the way I like you.”

Lexi listened to the soft tone of his voice as she took her mug. She didn’t hear happiness much from him anymore. Usually it was a tired acceptance of his situation that permeated everything about him. He saved the best for the children putting his finest performances on for them, making sure that they were happy, healthy and well adjusted.

“You hid some eggs already?” Michael motioned Lexi over to join him.

“Yes, just a basket, I knew you would want to help too.”

Holding her close as she settled against his chest he replied, “Hiding them is OK, but I like hunting them better.”

“I remember, I hid some for you too Babe.”

Lexi traced her finger down his neck, looking up to see the light from the house reflecting off his dark eyes as he stared back at her before they quickly darted away.

“What? What is it Michael?”

“Nothing…I, I was just think…I was, Um I can still see the glitter on your face from when we were decorating the eggs that’s all.”

“Oh, is that it? Glitter?”


“You sure?”

“I like glitter.” He answered softly.

A small laugh came from Lexi before she sat up, “Baby, the whole world knows you like glitter.”

“Guess I hadn’t really thought of it that way.” Michael answered with a slight smile.

“Well I think it’s a good thing…since the kitchen and half the house is full of it right now. We got a little crazy last night you know?”

“The kids loved it.”

“I think you loved it too Babe.”

“I did…I just want to have some fun memories, you know just in case.” Lexi felt her heart catch, and it took a moment to answer.

“I know. I’m scared too.” She knew that’s where his mind had really been when he had been looking into her eyes just moments before.

His voice was soft, so soft Lexi almost didn’t hear what he told her next, “Randy talked to someone…a new attorney.”

“Really?” Then there was a long silence, as Michael sat stroking her leg before he finally spoke. “I am going to meet him tomorrow; I think I will probably hire him Lex.”

“What about Mark?”

geragos“I’ll replace him, this is too important. You were right months ago; he is not devoting enough time to the case.”

Michael watched as Lexi closed her eyes trying to think of what to say, “Well he can’t be in two places at once. Peterson’s trial starts in June, you need him focused on this situation. It’s for the best.”

Silence fell over them again and Lexi eventually settled back in to the warmth of his arms, with Michael absentmindedly twirling her hair between his fingers as Lexi listened to the steady thumping of his heart under her ear. Sliding her fingers softly up his chest she rested her palm above the source of the comforting beat, “Steady and strong, it’s good to hear it Baby.”

“Are you saying that as a Doctor or Girlfriend?”

Glancing up she waited, afraid to ask the question.“Aaa…am I your girlfriend again Michael?”

His large hand caressed her cheek as his eyes dared her to question his commitment. “Do you even have to ask that girl; you’re everything to me…you and the children?”

Lexi’s long silence puzzled Michael, “Does that surprise you?”

She merely shrugged and remained silent. Michael only let it go for a moment before he spoke again, “Lex there is no one else. With ev…you know with everything that has been happening I have thought a lot about the past, and why we broke up last time.”

He barely heard her when she responded, “Hmmm mmm”

“You know I have always loved you right?”

Michael felt what could only be tears on his chest where her head lay as Lexi answered, “There was never any doubt of that, it’s just I always knew you loved her more. I couldn’t fight it any longer; it still scares me.”

“Would you believe me if I told you I’ve only talked to her once since then?”

Lexi tapped his chest softly, “I guess, but it doesn’t change what’s in here.”

“You’re in my heart Lex”

Again it was silent, but he continued to feel her tears fall. It remained that way until at last she spoke, almost startling him. “Michael, remember that night before we left for Germany on tour and you took me out to watch the sunrise?”

“Of course…”

“The sky was so full of stars that night.”

“I remember, and you made a wish.”

“Yes, I did…I sure did.”

“It came true huh? We have ‘lannah?”

Rolling over Lexi stared up at Michael, “That’s right, we do…That’s what I wished for. I was so broken over losing Brandon, I didn’t ever dream that I… that we would be so lucky.”

“It’s not luck girl, she is supposed to be here.”

“Brandon wasn’t?”

“That’s not what I meant, you know that.”

“I still miss what could have been with him Michael.”

“I do too Babe.” Michael saw fresh tears appear in her eyes, “Can you believe it’s been 12 years now…12 years already!”

Not wanting to cry Michael wrapped his arms around her and held her close. He was surprised she was able to continue, “When I was in Mexico…when Patrick would, you know when he would… Michael closed his eyes, trying not to imagine the terrible things Patrick did to Lexi. Still she continued,   “You know, I would wish on the stars, I could see them from the room. I used to imagine that you were looking at them too Michael. It helped get me through it, um the long nights… and everything else.”

“Babygirl, you know I always look at the stars right? I spoke to you all the time hoping you would hear me somehow. I knew you hadn’t gone silent on purpose. Even though we had broken up you told me that you wouldn’t take ‘lannah away.”

“I’m glad you knew…” Lexi whispered softly

“I did…”

Drawing a deep breath Lexi softly spoke his name, “Michael…”


“I have been thinking about getting my medical license back up to date. I just need to get some continuing education and clinical time in. It might be a good time to do it now before everything…you know before everything starts getting crazy.”

She felt Michael’s body tense and became concerned she had upset him, until at last she heard him exhale and say, “Yeah…that’s probably a good idea, just in case Lex.”

Sitting up she straddled his hips and looked down at him. Dawn was approaching but it was still dark so they were hidden away from view. “Baby, please try to stop being so negative, I mean it.” Staring up at her he strained to see her face clearly, “Well it is kind of hard not to be considering everything that is going on.”

Bending down Lexi brushed her lips against his then gently whispered in his ear, “But you are innocent. The only thing you are guilty of is kindness and maybe being a bit too sensitive.”

His hands pressed into her thighs at her comment and she thought she saw his eyes crinkle along with his mouth into a mischievous grin, “Oh really…TOO sensitive?”

Lexi swiveled her hips slightly and replied, “Yeah, that’s what I said.”

“I don’t think you know what you are talking about Doctor.” Again she moved forward upon Michael but this time her teeth sunk slightly into his earlobe as she whispered, “Mmmm, I do know….I’ve had some firsthand experience.”

Michael’s mouth found her neck just as his hands found their way around her waist, “I heard it was first hand, and tongue… and lips…. And then you found a real big….”

Rolling over, Michael pulled Lexi underneath him. The silk of her robe, much to his delight had slipped off her shoulder and she was exposed not only to the chill of the dawn but the caress of his mouth on her breast. Just as his lips made contact he murmured, “Mmmm, see I told you about the lips…”

Lexi’s back naturally arched toward his mouth, making it clear that she wanted more of the intimacy he promised. “Aye Michael…mmmm”

The slam of a door somewhere close by stopped him and he raised his head just as several sets of headlights swept across the lawn and over the trees. Michael hesitated briefly but Lexi urged him on, “Michael they won’t find us…c’mon.”

“I think they’re here and it’s Easter Babe, We should wait…”

Car doors slammed and soon voices young and old started coming their way, quickly followed by ranch staff carrying decorations and more eggs to hide for the party.

Pushing away from Lexi, Michael sat up leaving her flustered and overwhelmed in the garden. Moments later she heard the distinct voices of her Mother and the rest of her family, so she reluctantly followed Michael’s path into his room. .


“Sólo un segundo Blanket”

Lexi was trying to brush Blanket’s hair but he was squirming and spinning, his giggling still infectious in spite of the late hour.

“Aye, Baby…we have to get this out of your hair before bed.”


His large sparkling eyes flashed as she tried one last time to run the brush through…

“Ok, lets just get you to bed.”

Lexi scooped him up and placed him in his crib only to be met by a flying action figure.


“I know, I know…I am going to get him. He has to see Paris too.”

Blanket flopped down on the mattress and laughed, just as Grace walked in the door.

“He is a real handful now.”

Grace stated as she handed him a sippy cup and Lexi picked his clothing up off of the floor.

“He sure is, but I wouldn’t have him any other way. Let me go find his Father…”

Grace’s eyes followed her out the door before she picked a reluctant Blanket back up out of the crib. Sitting down, she used the brush to quickly get the glitter and candy from the day’s celebration out of his hair then snuggled up to him as he drank from the cup.


Shivering against the cold night air, Lexi quickly stepped inside and swore under her breath


“Why are you swearing Lex?”

“Oh…uh you weren’t supposed to hear that, it’s kind of chilly out there.”

Michael was standing with his back against an arcade game that stood in the lobby of the movie theater.

“What are you guys doing over here Babe?”

Lexi asked as she rubbed her hands up and down on her arms waiting for Michael to answer.

“We were talking about some things…in private.” Michael glanced briefly at the floor as he answered; leaving Lexi with the impression that she had interrupted something important.

“Oh! Ok, I just wanted to let you know that Blanket is down and Paris is waiting for her goodnight hug.”

“I guess time got away from me, we won’t be much longer.”

Michael turned back to the machine where Junior was seated in a race car simulator, seemingly dismissing Lexi.

race carShe watched for a moment as Junior drove the course almost perfectly then quietly left, realizing that Michael was not willing or going to allow himself to be disturbed at that moment.

Junior had grown tall and handsome and was on the verge of graduating high school. Lexi wondered how her sister handled all the girls he seemed to have interested in him and who called the house at all hours. Wondering briefly what they could be talking about she started to walk to the cottage to settle in for the night but changed her mind taking off past the barns and up the road hoping to wear herself out for a good night’s sleep.

Clearly frustrated; Michael started the ’58 Chevy pickup and left the garage, it had been over thirty minutes since Lexi had left the theater and she wasn’t at the cottage when he finally finished talking to Junior. Working his way up the road the headlights finally picked her out in the distance, walking up the hill she so loved to sit on when she was troubled. Pulling up beside her, Michael rolled the window down,

“Hey what are you doing way up here so late girl?”

Lexi continued walking but answered,

“I’m not tired yet and you were busy with my nephew.”

Keeping pace with her, but hoping he wouldn’t stall the truck with its manual transmission Michael pleadingly said,

“Lex, you know I don’t want anyone out here too late and alone. There could be a mountain lion or a rattlesnake, and you don’t even have a flashlight with you.”

gallery_2_1660_235545Letting out a big sigh, Lexi stopped and turned toward the truck.

“Ok, I’ll stop. I just had to get out of that house for a while.”

Thankful for the break, Michael turned the truck off and opened the door.

“Why?” A slight grin appeared on his face. “There ain’t a Jackson sibling that doesn’t belong to me up in that house?”

Lexi stepped into the door of the truck, raising her hands to hold on to the frame.

“My family can make me crazy too Jackson, all that yelling about more beer…”

Her voice trailed off as Michael unzipped her jacket

“What are you doing Michael, its cold out here?”

“Mmm hmm, I know I thought maybe I could see how cold.” He whispered as his teeth closed around her still clothed breast, her nipple already chilled by the temperature now stiffened by his advances.

Moving in to his mouth she moaned slightly, “That feels good.”

Michael’s breathing increased as he pushed her blouse up and unclasped her bra. His hand met warm bare skin, and his tongue connected with the hardened tip of her nipple.

The scrape of two day old stubble burned across her flesh as he drew her in hungrily. Prompting tiny cries that escaped Lexi, encouraging Michael to unzip her jeans and delve long fingers between her legs.

Michael freed his lips from her breast as his fingers danced below,

“This is what I was trying not to think about all day.”

Lexi’s neck bent back for a moment before she began to kiss his lips,

“It’s not Sunday anymore…it’s not Easter. Laydown on that seat….”

His eyes sparkled as he withdrew his hand and stepped out.

“Uh huh, get in the truck.”

Quickly obeying Lexi jumped in as Michael slid in beside her. Not even having time to settle in, Lexi had his zipper down and her hand began drawing him out.

Semi hard he gasped as her lips closed around his shaft and after two languid passes he could feel the back of her throat with his tip and her tongue licking his balls.

“Oh, Lex, how you, how you do that!”

Rising up she had a wild look in her eye, “I saw it on one of your movies once…” then she kissed him passionately as her hand pumped him.

Michael relaxed for a moment, resting his head against the back of the seat as Lexi returned to her task.

His hands, tangled in her hair and his hips thrust up unconsciously as she gagged slightly on his now enlarging member.

Lexi’s hand worked up and down as her lips moved steadily. Moaning she shifted to her knees on the floorboard and ran her tongue the length of his shaft.

Taking a breath, she paused, “Can you come?” She asked.

“Yeah.” He barely breathed.

“This is what I was thinking about when I was walking.” Lexi whispered before she once again wrapped her lips around him.

Michael knew he wasn’t going to last, he hadn’t planned to do it like this but he couldn’t stop.

“Keep going…” he cried pulling her closer with both hands.

“C’mon baby….” Lexi groaned before committing herself completely.

As his swollen head crossed her lips her saliva crept down his shaft and she tasted the first drops of his salty liquid just as he exploded in her mouth.

Swallowing hard, she slid her lips around him again as he called out, “Yes…damn!”

To Michael, all he felt was fire between his legs and the ringing in his head for several moments until he finally had to pull her off of him. Lexi sat on the floor of the truck, her blouse still above her breasts and her hair splayed on the bench seat. He could see her swollen lips almost bruised from her effort, still wet and enticing as she relaxed against his leg.

His hand that had held her tightly now gently began to stroke her face.

“That was really one sided.”

Lexi smiled up at him, “Not for long, we are going to go take a bath and then it’s my turn.”

“I’m really glad I can keep up with you still girl.” He said with a smile.

Moving up to the seat Lexi glanced his way as she pulled down her top, “I don’t ever worry about that…c’mon lets go, I am worked up over here.”

Michael smiled and kissed her cheek, grinding the gears as he turned around to go back to the cottage.


Michael May 1 2004Michael felt confident as he straightened his tie one final time. It was hard to look at Lexi; her eyes couldn’t hide the fact that she had been crying most of the morning.

“Please don’t cry.”

“I can’t help it, it’s not fair.” She whispered softly.

“We’re gonna win. You know that.” Michael said it confidently, still so sure of a system that seemed to let him down time and time again.

“I’m scared for you.” Lexi finally said as she turned to embrace him.

“I know…I know.” Michael tried to be brave but he was quickly losing his courage.

“Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.” A choir of children’s voices came barreling into the room all at once, forcing Michael and Lexi apart.

“Hey guys…”

“Where are you going Daddy?” Paris asked

“I have a meeting today, in town. It will not take very long and then we will play later, Ok?” Michael bent down and planted a quick kiss on her cheek.

“Ok” Paris replied

Prince looked at Lexi and stared solemnly, taking in her red, swollen eyes without comment.

“Papa, can we ride the horses today?” Alannah asked politely.

“That is fine, but I would like to go with you…please wait.” Michael looked at Lexi and smiled slightly as he began to make his way to the door.

“Sure, will Grandma go too?” ‘lannah asked.

Lexi stepped in, “No Baby, Grandma doesn’t ride horses. Maybe your Uncle Jackie will go with us.”

‘lannah looked at her Mother sideways before shooting out the door in front of Michael.

michael-jackson-cowboy“Grandma will you ride horses with us today?”

Michael looked at Lexi and shook his head, “I think she is doing better now.”

“Yeah she is getting there, at least around family.” Lexi answered.

Walking up to the Escalade Michael paused and took her once again in his arms. “Don’t worry, Mr. Mesereau is on top of it now Lex. I’ll be fine.”

Knowing the children were watching; Lexi smiled and kissed him gently. Handing him a tissue wrapped tightly around something small she said, “I love you, take that with you today.”

“Every day, I take your love with me… everyday Girl.”


Reaching in his pocket he felt the tissue and quickly removed the treasure inside. Thinking nothing could shock him any longer he caught his breath at what lay in his hand.

He saw the emeralds first; two of them so like the green of her eyes lying on either side of the diamond that calmly blinked in the dim light of the back seat. Hunter’s engagement ring; the little secret he kept stashed away. He thought, until now when this amazing, wonderful woman knew he needed something to hold on to.

But not only was Hunter’s ring lying in his palm, so was Lexi’s. It had been over a decade since he had last seen it. Yet a simple adjustment of his glasses and he could make out the inscription clearly:

“L-Your love completes me…M”

Lexi had strung both rings on a long thin chain, and Michael placed them under his shirt, close to his heart. The act making him feel stronger in spite of the dread running through his body.

She watched Michael walk into court on CNN. Hundreds of fans lined the street and shouted encouragement to Michael as he entered the courthouse. For the second time he had to enter a not guilty plea, for the second time he had to listen as terrible lies were read into the official record.

For this first time of many times yet to come he placed his hand on his heart and then his lips as looked towards the cameras…and Lexi knew he was taking her love and so much more with him, every day.


To Be Continued…..

Filed in: Lexi • Monday, November 11th, 2013


Yay! So great to read a new chapter! Hope there are more to come. (Hope it felt good again)
Love it girl!

Wonderful! The rings were perfect. Something he can hold on to for comfort.

I hope this is the first of many updates. Thank you for sharing.

OH GODDD!!!! YES!!!! Thank you so much D’! !!! .I really missed mike and lexi! I didn’t even realize! I just came back on the site to do some re-reading, and there it was…. Im sorry, I just got real hype!

Okay!! Okay!! Im about to read it….. (Im extra, hype right now)

🙂 …… 😀 :D:D

Wow! Love it! Love it!! Love it!! Love. It!!!!

Well, welcome back darlin! How are you holding up? How are you?

Thank you again (cuz im still hype 🙂 ) Lol ….I kinda didn’t think you were coming back.

LOL, you are so cute!! I am Ok. Working a lot so that helps. So happy you liked it..all of ya. Told ya I would be back, its just kind of hard to dig down and bring it out. There will be more, promise.

I was so excited yesterday when I saw the update.
I’m glad you’re back (a great return).
I missed this story.
Thank you so much.

Hugs (for your life), Pat

Hi Pat, so good to see you here. Happy you enjoyed it. More to come

Omg omg omg I’m sloppily happy ur back like ahhh!!! I love this. Continue please I would be solo happy 🙂 <3

Hi Jasmin, You’re welcome. Glad you liked it!!!

Love it like all the otheros:)

I reread all the chapters again lol, I’m excited can’t wait for the next chapter

By shaylovesmj on January 6th, 2014 at 7:38 pm

Is the next chapter comming soon?

Yes Babygirl, I am beginning to get my thoughts and stuff together, I had intended on it last weekend…but I had a date instead SORRY. Also, I spent the holidays with my brother (kind of spur of the moment thing) and it was great. But didn’t really think about storyline. Just getting back home and settling in. I will get it up soon though Momma.

By shaylovesmj on January 7th, 2014 at 5:08 pm

Yessssss! I know that’s right you better do that! Get all your fun time in. Lol
but its cool take your time darlin. I was just asking. <3

I’m so happy to read a new chapter! You have been my inspiration to write for so long! I’ve missed these. Much love <3

So is that it ur not writing anymore

NO, I am still planning on it. I am still recovering from my illness and my work has been very demanding as of late. I do, at last have some ideas floating around though about how to tackle how to move forward with the story. Please dont give up on me. Sorry its so frustrating.


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